BeachHead's Sick Leave
by willwrite4fics
Summary: What could take down the tough drill instructor for the Joes? How does he take being on medical leave? Plot bunny that ran amuck all over my computer. Those that like BeachHead might enjoy. BH/CG, appearances by many other Joes as well.
1. Chapter 1

Now for something a little different. I realized when posting the Ninja Hunt fic that I'd never quite gotten around to posting this bit of writing. I wrote it as a plot bunny that evolved into more. Yep, it's MORE BeachHead, although there's a little bit of other Joes popping in and out, of course. BeachHead/CoverGirl, although it's more the 'early stages' and not a deep involved relationship or anything.

Most of the facts I researched, and some of the stuff is based on real life people's experiances, or on people that I know have similar reactions(or did have, etc). Reviews are welcomed, and yes I'm still writing on Vacation and all.. I just happen to have stumbled over this, and thought I'd toss it out and see if anyone enjoys it enough to post it.

All normal disclaimers apply, I don't have any rights to GI Joe, nor to any of the characters. I base my fics off mostly comic/cartoon canon, although I made some slight changes to suit myself. Please feel free to check out my other fics, some which are based more on Snake Eyes, some are based more on BeachHead. Those are my favorite two characters, which anyone reading my stuff will soon come to see!

* * * *

BeachHead groaned softly, holding his belly. He knew he shouldn't have had the gumbo in the messhall.. but he'd been too hungry and too tired to bother looking for something else to eat.

He straightened with an effort. For the first time in years, he forwent his morning 'jog', without a significant injury. Puking on the trail around the base wouldn't suit his reputation at all. Even if it was 0500 hours, someone somewhere would manage to see him, because that was his luck. Instead, he went to the infirmary to get some alka-seltzer to take. Lifeline was just arriving when he was quaffing the dose.

"Hey BeachHead.. what's wrong?" The medic seemed too cheerful for someone up as early as they were.

He growled at him. "Stomach acting up, probably because I gotta deal with a bunch of prissy boys instead of soldiers." He stalked out, pulling his balaclava mask on, and leaving a eye-rolling Lifeline behind him. By the time he got out onto the field, the first greenshirts were beginning to arrive, and he belched and spat to the side, watching them rush to form up.

"ALRIGHT MAGGOTS!!" He saw some wince, and noted which ones. "You been slouching around here long enough! Get yer butts on the ground and listen up!" They all looked surprised and sat quickly. The sight of all twenty greenies sitting cross-legged trying not to look confused made him grin under his mask. The more observant of them almost quivered when they saw it. There wasn't much of his face visible to catch his expressions, but the quick ones learned to identify his evil grins and angry looks just by his eyes. He'd considered wearing sunglasses, but discarded the idea as silly.

BeachHead began to run through a bit of battlefield strategy, outlining historical generals that had used various tactics. He noted a few troopers failing to pay attention and singled them out to repeat back facts to him. When they invariably failed, he yelled at those and made them do at least fifty push-ups per offense.

Once he was done with his short lesson, he suddenly roared at them to get up and run. He ran alongside the formation, verbally flaying anyone who failed to keep up. At random times, he would single out someone to ask them a question on his lesson. The first time someone got it wrong, he stopped in his tracks.

"HALT!! Since Miller doesn't remember the lesson, EVERYONE can drop and gimme fifty!! NOW NOW!" He stalked around them while they counted off the punishment. "Alright, what are you waiting for?! Get up! This run ain't over!" He pushed them along, and ran them until they began to stumble.

"Alright, get over to the obstacle course! MOVE IT!" They rushed over, forming up in his preferred squads of four. "First team.. go!" They sprinted at the first obstacle and he trotted to the end of the course, which curved around in a U shape. He used to have it on a straight line, but realized as he added the greenshirts to his routine training that he would easily run himself to death if he had to move down the entire course each time. He did enough of the course, checking on random individuals or problem troops. Running from the start line to the finish, even with his shortcut, was a workout in itself. Right now, it was torment as his gut started to ache again.

"Suck it up." He told himself. Gritting his teeth, he checked the timer and waited while the fourth man crossed the line.

"Sorry maggots!! I could do this faster on two broken legs!" He ran the quartet back to the start and sent the next four through. Before he could move back to the finish he overheard one mutter to the other...

"I wish I could give him the two broken legs.."

He spun on the hapless young man. "You wanna go? You wanna have a go at me? Let's go!" The greenie shook his head frantically. "What? Do you think you'll hurt old BeachHead? Think I'm too frail to be beaten up by a young tough guy?" Now near panic, the greenshirt shook his head and backed up.

He stuttered badly. "N-n-no Sergeant Major! I'm sorry Sergeant Major!"

BeachHead got within inches of his face. "Yew wanna make some smart comments bahind mah back.. yew better be fraggin' certain it's waaay bahind mah back! Yew got it?!" He got frantic nods in reply. "AH CAN'T HEAR YEW!"

He almost saw the guy wet himself. "YES SERGEANT MAJOR! YES SERGEANT MAJOR!!"

He snarled one last time. "Drop and gimme enough push-ups to make me happy!" The youngster dropped to the ground and began putting out push-ups frantically.

Moving back to the finish line, he found the quartet waiting nervously and ran them back to the start. His transgressor was still giving out push-ups and he ignored him to send the next group through. By the time the last ones were finishing the course, the Mouth was dripping with sweat and struggling to lift himself one last time, over and over. BeachHead walked over and stood there watching him. When he managed another shaky push-up, the sergeant put a foot in the center of his back and squashed him to the ground, and then stood on him to address the rest.

"Now. If I eveh hear another one of you maggots giving me disrespect like the Mouth here, I'll make you all WISH you could do his punishment." He shifted his weight onto the foot over the youngster's kidneys and heard a suitable groan. "DO.. I ... MAKE.. MYSELF... CLEAR!!?"

A terrified chorus of "YES SERGEANT MAJOR!!" rang out loudly, echoed feebly by Mouth under his boots. He stepped off, and gave a shove with one foot to him. "Get up! My greenshirts don't grovel in the dirt!"

Even though he was battered and shaken, the youngster got to his feet. "Yes Sergeant Major! Sorry Sergeant Major!"

"You're all due in hanger four in fifteen minutes.. get a move on! Dismissed!"

He watched them go, and absently rubbing his stomach. It was hurting again, and he tilted his jaw down, trying for a belch to make it feel better. Belching happened, but didn't help the aching pain. "Dang it." He wondered if he was coming down with a bug, and sighed. The last time he'd gotten the flu, it'd ended up being the most miserable week and a half ever. Between his wheezing and sinus pain, and the continual torment by several of the Joes, he'd been ready to kill someone, but too weak to actually do it.

"Yo BeachHead." Speaking of.. he turned and spotted the group of Joes headed out. Clutch headed up the pack, and he counted heads quickly. All ten were at least on time. Shipwreck sauntered up at the back, probably hoping to stay mostly unnoticed.

BeachHead took a deep breath and suddenly jerked in pain. He closed his eyes just for a second and then tightened his gut up. "Get to running you lazy dogs!" He pointed across the field. "To the fenceline and back, last man can drop and gimme fifty!" The pack sprinted off, and he took the few minutes to take some deep breaths. Another couple of hours out here, and he could take the afternoon to catch up on paperwork, maybe the rest would help his stomach.

The first Joes started to arrive back, and he glared at them, back in control of himself. He wasn't about to vomit in front of his fellow Joes. LadyJaye was one of the front runners.

She took a look at the sergeant. "Hey.. BeachHead.. you okay?"

He snarled at her. "I'm just fine Princess. Are you doing fine? You must be if you're feeling up to exchanging pleasantries. How would you like to make that run a second time?"

"No drill sergeant!" He thought he saw her smiling a little, but he let it slide. The Joe's were more prickly than the greenshirts, and he didn't push them nearly as badly as the recruits. They did harder work, and more training, but he eased off on the screaming and abuse. The Joe's were already past the level of the best greenshirt, but that didn't stop him from pushing them to get even better.

"Wetsuit, drop and gimme those fifty! You could have been a front runner and you were just lazing out there! I should make you gimme a hundred fer being lazy!" He walked away as the diver began his punishment, taking deeper breaths and swallowing a few times. He saw LadyJaye looking at him and gave her a glare.

"Get formed up, ranks of four, first group out." He waved them to start and turned to jog slowly to the finish line. By the time they'd clambered through the advanced course, the worst of the nausea had passed. "Decent.. you can do better." Back to the start and he glared at Wetsuit.

"You can go through with this group.. then again when it's your turn. Run some of that lazy outa you." He watched the diver slump a little bit, but a Navy SEAL wouldn't complain, and he took off with the group. TunnelRat yelped when he passed him on the flat upright wall.

"Hey!! Outa my way Flipper!"

BeachHead ignored the bantering on the course normally, but now it irritated him. "SHUT YER YAP, Tunnelrat!! Get yer butt in gear! NOW!" He turned to head for the finish and a wave of dizziness hit him. Suddenly he couldn't catch his breath and staggered.

He heard a few voices nearby. "Beach? Hey dude.." "Is he okay?" "BeachHead?" He straightened and started to turn to yell at them to get back on the course and everything went dark.

* * * *

Shipwreck was watching the sergeant when he suddenly staggered. "Yo.. BeachHead.. " He stared when the fittest man he'd ever met fell over in a limp heap. "BeachHead?!" He rushed over with half a dozen other Joes.

Expecting to be met by cursing, he was unnerved when he arrived at his side to find him completely unconscious. "LadyJaye!! Come here!! Beach is down!"

Wetsuit ran up, having seen the commotion, he'd come from the middle of the course. "Holy jeez... we finally gave BeachHead an aneurysm!"

LadyJaye punched him in the arm. "Shut it! Make yourself useful! Go get a medic! Who here has a communicator? Anyone?" Negative replies made her curse. "Wetsuit! RUN!" The SEAL took off sprinting for the Pit entrance.

Shipwreck was bent over the prone form. "Hey.. Beach.. come on.. can you hear me? Jaye.. he's breathing.. but he's awful hot." She reached to turn him onto his back carefully. Shipwreck helped ease the limp body over. "He's really out. He just flopped over all of a sudden, it's crazy."

Jaye pressed fingers to his wrist. "Pulse seems fast.. where is that SEAL?" She peeled the mask off. "He's covered in cold sweat.. he could be having a heart attack.." She looked up. "Someone go find out why a medic isn't here yet!" Several turned but stopped.

Clutch pointed. "Lifeline's on his way." Soon enough the red-jumpsuited figure ran up, hauling a medical pack.

He was gasping for breath but dropped the bag and looked at LadyJaye. "What's his status? Shipwreck, open my bag, get the stethoscope out, then get the portable EKG." He peeled an eyelid open and fished a tiny flashlight out to peer at the unfocused brown eyes.

LadyJaye shook her head. "He just collapsed, but he didn't look good when we got here. He looked pale, and I think he was in pain, but he just yelled at me when I asked.. he's clammy and sweaty, totally unresponsive."

Lifeline took the stethoscope and nodded at her. "Help Ship get the EKG set up, it's simple." He bent to listen. "Get my BP cuff..." She dug it out and he took it. "BeachHead.. hey! Hey!"

The sergeant didn't respond, and Lifeline continued checking him. Finally he looked around. "Get a stretcher.." He reached up and triggered his headset. "Doc, you read me? This is Lifeline.. emergency on surface level, obstacle course, single patient."

Doc's voice came back. "Infirmary, read you, stats."

Lifeline rattled off vital statistics quickly. "Possible cardiac.. checking trauma.." He looked at Shipwreck and clicked the mic off. "He didn't get hit.. kicked? Didn't fall?"

Shipwreck looked startled. "No, no. As far as I know.. we'd need to ask the greenshirts if anything happened before.. but he just fell over, boom! No one touched him."

The medic looked grim. "Jaye, go find one of them, find out." He undid the straps on the tactical vest and pulled the frontpiece loose. Drawing out a set of stubby scissors from a pocket, he sliced open the thick shirt. Pressing on the taut stomach, he frowned. Clicking the mic back on, he spoke quickly. "Doc, he's got a hot belly, tight, swollen.. he's running a fever, cold sweats.." He turned as Clutch arrived with the stretcher. "We're transporting."

Once they got him settled into the Stokes litter, four of them took the corners and lifted it carefully. Lifeline grabbed up his bag and directed them to the Pit. Shipwreck hefted his corner and shook his head, looking down at still face they carried.

"I never thought BeachHead would go down.. did we finally give him a heart attack? Ace used to joke about a betting pool on how long 'fore one'a us made him have a stroke out here."

Lifeline shook his head. "I dunno 'wreck. I hope not."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Hope you enjoyed.. what's wrong? Guesses? That was the introduction to the Mouth(one of my recurring greenshirt characters). Back to the typing on fics!


	2. Chapter 2:Protective CG

Chap 2

Due to begging from a certain reader... I'm posting chapter two without waiting.

* * * *

Hawk came striding into the infirmary. "Alright, someone give me a report, what's wrong with our Sergeant Major?"

Lifeline met him, and walked with him towards the back. "Doc's doing a ultrasound of his abdomen now. We ruled out a heart attack. Almost certain it's not a seizure, the lab's working on his blood, checking for toxins or poisons.. we're running a bunch of tests."

The general frowned. "So you don't know? How is he?"

The medic stopped, bringing Hawk to a stop as well. "We don't know.. and he's still unconscious."

Hawk glared at the wall. "I talked to Lady Jaye, and she said he fell over right on the obstacle course. TunnelRat is convinced his quips at Wetsuit made Beachhead so mad he had a stroke, and no one seems able to convince him otherwise. I expected for the greenshirts to be celebrating with a party."

Lifeline looked surprised. "They aren't? I'd expect for half the Pit to be cheering, not that I feel that way. BeachHead isn't a bad guy.. just really hard to please."

The commander jerked his head towards the entrance of the medical bay. "Yeah.. well. Half the Joes are hanging around hoping to hear something, the rest are gathering up in groups, the messhall is packed. The greenshirts are all looking like hounddogs that just lost their last bone. I sent Scarlett up to take over the PT training, with Kamakura for backup. Everyone is completely thrown off by this."

Lifeline smiled distantly. "Yes sir. There are few constants in Joe life.. little things like 'the sun always comes up in the morning' and 'BeachHead is always on the course.' If he's not on a mission, saving someone's butt.. he's on the PT course, training us to stay alive. Now he's lying unconscious in the medical bay." He sighed, and suddenly turned to look down the hall.

Doc came from the back. "Nope, he's awake, and I know what's wrong. He's got appendicitis." He was treated to stunned expressions. "Lifeline.. go prep him for surgery." He looked at Hawk. "I have to go scrub in, his appendix has burst, emergency surgery is needed, but he'll be fine."

Hawk shook his head. "You're telling me that my best sergeant.. the toughest drill we've ever seen.. just fainted because he's got a tummyache?"

Doc gave him a withering glare. "General Hawk, with all due respect.. the man just had an organ explode inside him, give him a danged break. He was already fighting the infection from it, running a high fever, and running around up top in the heat after a crew of unruly soldiers. Finally his appendix burst, and he went into almost immediate septic shock."

Hawk looked a bit chagrined. "Sorry.. it's just.. I thought only kids got that. What next? Snake Eyes gonna come down with chicken pox?"

Doc smiled. "I hope not.. he hasn't ever had it, after all." They turned at the crashing noise from the back. "What now?"

They headed back and found a wobbly BeachHead trying to stagger out in his underwear. Lifeline raised his hands helplessly. "I'm trying to stop him."

BeachHead gasped, clutching at his stomach. "Ah'm fine.. gimme some clothes.."

Hawk crossed his arms. "I don't think so. You're not roaming the Pit in your shorts. You're about to go into surgery."

BeachHead shook his head, swallowing hard. "Nossir, ah'll be fine.. jus' needed ta rest a m-minute.. dun need no surgery." He suddenly blinked rapidly. "Uh oh.."

Lifeline reached forward to catch him under his arms as he collapsed unconscious again. "Got ya.. he really didn't like the surgery news.. "

Doc shook his head. "Only thing more stubborn than a drill sergeant is a ninja. General, you think you could get me some nice pliable corporals to treat once in a while?"

The general shook his head. "Sorry.." He helped lift the sergeant onto the waiting gurney. "I seem to be cursed with willful stubborn troops.. but they're the best."

CoverGirl suddenly burst in. "Where is Beach!?"

Hawk smiled at Doc. "Speaking of willful.. I think this is my cue to leave.." He nodded at the upset looking woman. "CoverGirl.. he'll be fine."

He walked out while she looked at Doc and Lifeline questioningly. "He will?"

Doc gestured her forward. "Yes, he's got to go have surgery, and he wanted to object, but well.. it didn't work out that well for him."

"I dun need surgery..." The half-coherent mumble made them turn.

Lifeline sighed and pushed an arm back onto the bed. "Yes.. you do. Look.. say hi to CoverGirl.. she came to say hello before you go to sleep."

She moved up. "Hey Beach.. dude.. I heard you were sick.. came to see you."

He blinked at her. "Hey Barbie, I'm okay." He was obviously struggling to focus. "Lifeline is jus' bein' a pain." The mentioned pain was busy trying to secure the i.v. dangling from a beefy arm.

"Yeah, well if you don't hold still, I'll have a couple of the ninjas come help me tie you to the bed." Lifeline got the i.v. taped down tight and sighed. "Alright.. I'm going to give you something for the pain, it'll help relax you, okay?"

"Dun be stupid.. jus' lemme up." CoverGirl reached to put one forearm across his chest and pinned him down. "Get off me!"

She leaned in. "Shhhhh... just be still. I'm sure it's all a mistake.. Lifeline can just give you a couple pills, and your appendix will just pop out of your bellybutton. Right Lifeline?" The sergeant sighed and began to look extremely confused as Lifeline finished injecting the fluid into his i.v. line.

The medic patted him. "You'll start feeling muuuch better any second now."

BeachHead sighed again. "Yeah.. mush bether." He blinked. "No surgery.. jus' pills.. right? Righ' Lifeline?"

Covergirl smiled broadly. "Yeah.. much better. You just rest.. you go to sleep, have a nice nap, and you'll feel lots better when you wake up."

He nodded at her, already struggling to keep his eyes open. "Uh-huh.. sleepin'. Courtney?" She reached to finger his damp unruly brown hair and blinked rapidly at the use of her given name. "Courtney.. you be here when I wake up though? Dun leave me 'lone."

"Of course, I'll be here." He sighed and reached out to clutch her fingers. "I'll be right here. Go to sleep."

He heaved a sigh. "Mmm'kay."

Lifeline peered at him, then pulled an eyelid open to check. "He's out cold. I gotta take him to the O.R. Thanks CoverGirl. He really hates surgery."

She gave a last stroke to his head. "So.. can I be here when he wakes up?"

Lifeline hummed. "You probably don't want to. He really doesn't take anesthesia well at all, and when he wakes up, he's.. well.. unhappy." She tilted her head. "Look.. I know I shouldn't tell you, but I think I can trust you not to..to hurt him with this information. He's pretty out of it when he wakes up, and for the first hour or so, he'll act odd.. not himself. It embarrasses him, and he always makes us promise that we won't let anyone bother him until he's awake. Then he'll have a hangover for two days or more, and he's downright miserable to be around then. Even Doc doesn't want to be around him then."

She took a deep breath, looking the medic in the face. "You heard him ask me to be here."

The medic protested. "Yeah.. but he was drugged.. look, I gotta take him to surgery. We can talk once he's in the O.R." He pushed the gurney down the hall. "He'll be okay.. as long as he can survive the teasing from everyone."

She crossed her arms, narrowing her gaze in a decisive manner. "Oh.. I doubt there will be much teasing." She settled in to wait.

Fifteen minutes later, Snake Eyes appeared. He looked around, and then at CoverGirl. *How's BeachHead?*

She shrugged. "In surgery." The ninja shifted uneasily, then took a stance next to the doors. "You gonna wait too?" He nodded, then looked at her. "What? You're not here just to wait.. what's up?"

He hesitated. *Guard duty.* She gave him a strange look and he sighed and elaborated. *Too much temptation for certain people to try to get some back on the drill sergeant when he can't fight back. They aren't very likely to try anything with me here. Not after the last time.*

She frowned. "Last time? What happened last time?" He smiled under the mask in a way that made her nervous. "Oh.. yeah.. well." She cleared her throat. "I'm sure Beach appreciates it." He shook his head at her. "Why not? Oh.. he doesn't know about it... right?" He nodded. "Okay." They waited quietly a while. She suddenly looked at him. "He asked me to stay.. to be there when he wakes up."

Snake Eyes looked startled by that, then nodded at her. *Good.*

She scooted around in her chair, nervous and unsure why she'd be talking to the silent ninja. "I don't know why he'd pick me to be around when he wakes up."

She looked over and saw Snake Eyes tilting his head in a unmistakable 'you gotta be kidding' expression. "What? There's no reason for it."

He shook his head, looking away for a minute. *You know why. Same reason you are here.* She rocked back and forth minutely on the chair, making it squeek. After a few seconds, he glared at her and she stopped.

She smiled nervously. "Sorry." Looking down the hallway, she sighed. "How long do you supposed it'll be?" He shrugged. When she didn't say anything else to him, he shifted to a guard stance and became still. Despite her own fidgeting and the time crawling past, he never moved, and she began to watch every so often for him to breathe to make sure he hadn't somehow switched out a mannequin in a secret ninja move.

After a while, she heard voices and Clutch, Shipwreck and two greenshirts appeared. She got up and stood to block the hallway.

"Where do you guys think you're going?"

They stopped, and Clutch stepped up grinning at her. "Oh, no where in particular.. once you get out of the way.. we're just gonna go visit a friend."

She shook her head. "No, you're not. You're gonna turn around and go find something else harmless to do."

Clutch smirked at her. "Really? And who is gonna make...erkk.." He lifted his chin up in response to the katana tip lifting under it. CoverGirl stood still, arms crossed defiantly, with a black clad arm stretched over her left shoulder holding the blade to the mechanic's throat.

Her voice was very amused as she answered. "He is. You're welcome to argue with him, but I'd personally apologize and leave.. you know how nuts he is. He's just as liable to take off your head as not. I'm sure Hawk would reprimand him for it, but that won't help you much, will it now?" Clutch glared and then hiccuped slightly when the blade lifted a bit more. The ninja tilted his head.

The greasemonkey smiled nervously. "Sorry.. my bad.. I'll just be going now.." The sword tip flicked away, and he backed up. "Crazy ninja.. " Snake Eyes twitched and he jumped backwards. "Kidding!! Going now!! Right now!" Three of the four darted off down the hallway, leaving Shipwreck behind.

The sailor looked at her and the ninja. "Yeah, so how's Sergeant Tough-As-Nails doing?" CoverGirl glared at him. "Gimme a break, I picked his sorry butt up and carried him in. The least you can do is tell me how he is."

She shrugged. "He's in surgery. Lifeline said he'll be fine." The sailor nodded at that. "You can go now."

He hummed softly. "Anyone think about locking his quarters? I mean, normally I wouldn't think nothing of it, because no one's gonna mess with LowLight sleeping in there.. night shift and all.. but he's off-base."

Snake Eyes snorted, returning to his guard position. He made Jinx's name sign.

Shipwreck looked surprised. "Jinx is there? Okay.. that's an ugly surprise waiting for someone." Snake Eyes tensed up, and glared at him fiercely. "Oh no no no!! Not that JINX is ugly.. just.. a nasty trap for anyone dumb enough to try anything.. Jinx is gorgeous!" He saw the ninja's shoulders bunch up. "No! No no.. let's try this again!" He held up a finger. "Jinx is a lovely young lady, who shall remain untouched and unspoiled forever, especially by me. We good?" Snake Eyes fingered a short blade. "Now.. Snakes.. you know I respect your apprentice, I wouldn't touch a hair on her head.."

The ninja slowly drew the short sword from the small of his back, lowering himself slightly into a crouch, and the sailor backed up in a rush.

"Yeah.. so.. I'm taking off, gonna go.. you know.. look into becoming a monk. We're good, right Snakes? We're buds, you and me, tight as turtles!" Snake Eyes shifted forward a few inches and Shipwreck turned tail and ran. When he disappeared around the corner, the ninja straightened up and slipped his blade back into place, moving into his guard stance again and looking bored.

CoverGirl stared at him a few minutes. "You really enjoy your reputation, don't you?" He gazed at her. "I mean.. you with the whole 'bad ninja gonna cut your head off' routine. It's all an act, isn't it?"

He looked at her through the dark visor. Finally he signed to her. *I killed fourteen armed men on my last mission. It took me about twenty seconds. I don't need to pretend to have a reputation.*

She gulped. "Okay then.. I'm just gonna sit over here and shut up then, 'kay?" He shrugged and she settled into her chair again to wait.

* * * *

Lifeline came out and promptly ran into SnakeEyes. "Whoa!! Sorry. I was looking for CoverGirl. Oh.. hey.. he's still in surgery, what a mess!"

She must have gone pale. "Mess? What? Is he okay?"

The medic waved at her. "No no no! He's fine. Or well.. he will be fine. His appendix burst, and it was.. well to not go into medical jargon too far, the infection was rather nasty. Doc is pretty angry, and plans on yelling at BeachHead a lot for ignoring the early symptoms. But he should be coming out in about forty minutes or so."

She sighed and Snake Eyes put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She looked up at him. "I know, but I just.. I was worried."

He sat down next to her while Snakes stood to the side watchfully, seemingly uninterested in the conversation. Lifeline pushed his glasses up his nose a little. "Well..I know you're worried, but.. well. I don't know that you being there when he wakes up is a good idea. It's really just unpleasant. He's odd for an hour or so, and then he gets nauseous, and basically spends a couple days having a terrible hangover. Splitting headache, nausea, to the point that Doc and I just keep him in the infirmary on i.v. fluids to prevent him getting dehydrated. He never agrees to that, however. So it's a couple days of a very miserable Beach, fighting constantly to leave, and being as sick as a grown man can be. And.. of course.. he HATES to have anyone around him then."

Snake Eyes suddenly snapped his fingers, getting his attention. *I visit.*

Lifeline rolled his eyes at the ninja. "Annnd he throws things at you and yells."

The ninja smiled. *I catch what he throws, and he can't yell very loud when he's throwing up.* The medic shook his head.

CoverGirl clenched her fists. "I told him that I would be there when he woke up. So I'm gonna be there. If he gets mad, then he'll just have to get mad."

Lifeline held his hands up. "Okay fine. As long as you know going in, he's not pleasant. And another thing.. I want your word that you won't tell anyone about anything he does when he's waking up. I mean it. I promised him a year ago that I wouldn't let people taunt him over how he gets. It's not his fault that he reacts so poorly to anesthesia. If someone like Shipwreck knew.. Beachhead would be appalled."

She smiled and impulsively hugged the medic. "Of course I won't. You're awfully good to him, for all the hard time he gives you."

He shrugged back at her. "Snakes and he have worked very hard, helping me learn how to be as safe as possible in the field. I know he gives me a hard time to make me better. Besides, all of the Joe's give me a hard time at some point. He just gives everyone a hard time impartially."

Snake Eyes signed. *He's very fair that way.* He shifted suddenly, disappearing up into the ceiling with a gymnastic leap, startling CoverGirl.

She peered into the shadows fruitlessly, wondering what was up. "I hate it when he does that!" Lifeline shrugged.

"I'm here to take watch while Sensei teaches his afternoon class." They whirled around to confront Kamakura who stood placidly. "What?"

Lifeline clutched at his chest. "You sneaky ninjas are going to be the death of me! Why do you have to sneak up on us? What's wrong with walking down the hallway like normal people?"

The apprentice tilted his head and stood a bit straighter with pride. "We're ninjas.. it's what we do."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Next... you get to see BeachHead waking up from anesthesia.. it's entertaining.. as long as you're not in range. CoverGirl is all sweet being protective.


	3. Chapter 3: Waking up

Chap 3

Time for BeachHead to wake up. Glad that folks are enjoying the fic! Major Kudos to Storyseekr who made me snort ham through my sinus cavities by suggesting that BeachHead might be pregnant. Kudos.. major kudos.

I don't own them, I don't make money, cause if I did, I wouldn't be stressing about my blown up vehicle. I'd be driving a Mauler.

On to the fic!

* * * *

Covergirl paced across the room twice, and stopped to peer at the sleeping figure in the bed. Lifeline had been in and out several times, checking on the unconscious Ranger. Warm blankets had been tucked around him, and the monitors clicked and beeped softly, recording his vital statistics and transmitting them to the nurses' station up the hall.

She sat in the chair next to the bed and watched him breathing softly under the oxygen mask. It always seemed strange to see him without his mask, without his usual tac vest and sweater. Looking at her watch, she found it had been at least an hour, and there was no sign of him beginning to awaken. When Lifeline came back in, she tilted her wrist to show him the time.

"Why isn't he waking up? You said ten minutes."

He shrugged at her. "I also said that he doesn't wake up well from anesthesia. It takes a while sometimes.." He took the time to check BeachHead's pupils. "Just guessing, from his vitals and breathing, he should start moving around pretty soon." Reaching to pull out the restraints, he buckled cuffs on the thick wrists, and belting a strap across his chest, tucking it under his arms so there was no way from him to slide from under it.

CoverGirl protested, getting up to stand beside the bed. "What are you doing? You can't tie up Beach!"

Lifeline snorted at her. "Yes, I can. Yes, I will. He's likely to fall out of the bed and do himself damage otherwise. I don't want him ripping the sensor wires off, the i.v. lines out, or him deciding to try to sprint for the front door before his legs work. You'll see when he starts to wake up. I'm only doing it for his own good."

She frowned at him. "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

He shrugged at her. "Last time, he ripped out his i.v., pulled the drain from his wounded leg, and even got the chest tube ripped out, despite it being stitched into place.. all before I could re-sedate him. Time before that, he managed to throw himself out of the bed and broke a finger. He wasn't really awake either time, it was just him thrashing around being BeachHead. Once he wakes up, he's usually better about not pulling tubes out of himself, although he has an annoying tendency to 'call' the nurse by pulling loose the sensor wires to his heart monitor."

BeachHead suddenly took a deeper breath. CoverGirl leaned forward as he puffed it out again. "Is he waking up?" Even though Lifeline had warned her about how the Ranger reacted when he started waking up, she perversely didn't quite believe the Sergeant Major would do those things. She watched his lips move under the mask, although he wasn't making enough noise to hear him.

Lifeline reached to check the oxygen reading and twisted the supply off. As he removed the mask entirely, he leaned over and spoke next to BeachHead's ear. "Hey... BeachHead.. it's okay. You're in Medical. You're gonna be fine." She watched his body shiver and Lifeline tugged the blankets a little higher. "Are you cold? Come on, you gotta start waking up now."

The breathing went ragged for a few seconds then calmed again. Beach started to mumble again and suddenly twisted in the bed, his arms lifting as much as the restraints let him. "Aahhh-hmmmm..." He groaned and she saw his left hand trying to reach upwards towards his chest, stymied by the cuff fastening it down. "Geeet.. ahhfft.."

She stood anxiously, and started to take his hand. Lifeline pushed her wrist aside. "Don't... if he gets a grip on you, you could end up with a broken wrist. If you want to touch him, touch his arm.. don't try to hold his hand yet."

She glared at him. "Beach wouldn't hurt me."

He looked at her with a annoyed expression. "He wouldn't mean to, but he's not awake. He's still hallucinating, and I know that if he woke up finally to find out he'd snapped your fingers while he was still out, he'd feel really horrible."

The figure on the bed suddenly began to pant, moaning loudly and Lifeline bent again. "Calm down.. it's okay. You're safe. BeachHead you're in Medical, it's Lifeline, wake up. Wake up.. come on."

CoverGirl reached to rub her hand up and down his left forearm. "Hey, come on Beach. It's time to wake up." He twisted his face towards her and the eyelids flickered open. "Hey Beach, tough guy." She could tell he wasn't seeing anything, his deep brown eyes were unfocused and hazy looking. He blinked in her general direction and she reached to stroke the back of her fingers across his cheek. "Hi big guy. You're alright."

He gazed blankly past her and his lips moved a bit before he spoke. "Mama? Is..naga?" She blinked and then smiled. Lifeline gave her a warning glare.

She gave him another stroke to his cheek. "No.. it's Covergirl.. it's Courtney.. wake up Beach."

Lifeline lifted a finger at her, keeping his voice soft. "Don't call him by his given name.. it'll freak him out.. keep calling him BeachHead. I think it helps him remember he's in the Pit, remember when he is, where he is. I gotta go let Doc know he's waking up. Don't let him grab you." She nodded and he hurried out.

Beach turned his head when Lifeline left his bedside, his brow furrowing. "Naa..dunn.."

She took a grip on his arm and squeezed. "Hey, it's fine, Lifeline will be right back. But I'm here, I'll make sure you're okay."

He twisted his head around to look almost at her, but his eyes refused to focus properly. "Don't tell me lions won't sell chickens!!" His voice was suddenly completely clear, if rough sounding, and she really thought for a second she was having trouble comprehending English, before she realized the statement just didn't make sense. He seemed put out that she didn't respond. "For honey's sake! You noon based for square rabbit!" She blinked at him. "Lemme go!"

Finally something she could respond to and she shook her head. "No.. when you wake up, but you're kind of sick. You need to wake up now." Instead he started to fight the restraints, jerking and arching his back. "No! BeachHead! Stop that! Be still.. look at me.." She almost slipped her fingers into his hand and he grabbed and missed. She snatched her arm away, and he got the bed railing and twisted hard enough to make her glad she'd been quick enough.

"Get them off! Hate chickens! Tell them not to!" He began to plead incoherently for something at her, and she shook her head, completely stunned watching him babble. She'd seen him drunk once, involuntarily, at a function where someone slipped him a mickey as a ill-thought-out prank. He'd slurred his words, and eventually even stumbled. He had not, however, ever not made sense.. at least mostly. She'd never been quite as glad to see the medic arrive as right when he walked in.

"He's raving!" She flinched back when he snarled at Lifeline as he stepped up to the bedside.

Lifeline calmly ignored the thrashing and reached to pin BeachHead down by his forehead, using his thumb to pull up each eyelid so he could shine a small penlight into each eye. "Hi BeachHead.. doing okay?"

Lips peeled back and the sergeant snarled at him. "Ger mooch terry link format!" Lifeline continued to recheck his pupils calmly and Beach shook his wrists in the restraints.

The medic leaned over to look him in the face. "BeachHead.. it's me. Look at me. It's Lifeline, remember me? Lifeline.. the useless pacifist who won't shoot guns? Look at me.. come on!"

A very distinct string of cursewords streamed out of the patient's mouth and he jerked one arm as if he would have thrown a punch. Lifeline shook his finger in his face. "No! No hitting! Look at me.. who am I? Tell me who I am."

Instead of answering, he arched upwards, jerking against the restraints and Lifeline put a hand on his chest, pressing down firmly. "Stop. Be still.." He glanced at CoverGirl. "Don't you DARE repeat this." She nodded mutely and he leaned down to peer into the angry face. "Beach! Lie still or I'm getting the kitty!"

BeachHead gasped in horror and shook his head frantically. "Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! No no!" CoverGirl raised an eyebrow and suddenly understood why exactly Lifeline and Doc were so very adamant that no one know how BeachHead reacted while waking up. "Unnt-uh!! Dunn get it!! Dun!"

Lifeline scowled down into his face. "Stop this thrashing around!" His voice was stern. "Be still." The heavily muscled drill instructor obediently lay quieter, shaking slightly. "Who am I? Tell me. Come on Beach.. tell me."

BeachHead turned his face aside and looked distinctly sulky. "Stoooopid medic."

Lifeline rolled his eyes. "That was pretty close.. look at me.. tell me my name. You gotta wake up."

Heaving a sigh, Beach suddenly focused on the woman standing on the opposite side of the bed. "Mama?" She struggled not to laugh, especially when Lifeline glared at her.

The medic jostled his arm. "No.. who is that? Look at her.. who is it?"

BeachHead let his eyelids droop almost closed for a few seconds before he opened them wider and stared at her. "Courtney?"

She beamed at him. "Hey Beach, I told you I'd be here when you woke up."

He nodded very calmly at her. "Kill da chickens now."

She twisted her lips, looking at Lifeline who crossed his arms, no help at all. "Umm.. okay.. we'll kill the chickens, as soon as you wake up the rest of the way. Okay?" He scowled at her. "Hi BeachHead.. I was worried about you. Are you okay?"

He heaved a sigh and suddenly looked concerned. "OW! Ow ow ow!" Lifeline plucked up the clipboard and read the top sheet, flipping to see the second. "OW!!" He was glared at and BeachHead twisted in the bed to glare harder at him. "OOOOOWWWWWWW!"

Lifeline raised an eyebrow at him. "Shush.. no yelling. What's my name?"

He was given a scathing glare. "OOOWWWWWWWWW!!!"

Although Lifeline did wince at the volume, he leaned in and smiled. "Hi BeachHead. Who am I?"

"Courtney." The medic sighed at him.

CoverGirl rubbed his arm. "Noo, I'm Courtney.. "

He tilted his face around to look at her. "Mama?" She shook her head and he looked at Lifeline. "Courtney?" The medic heaved a sigh and rubbed the spot between his eyes for a second. "Courtney!!"

"No Beach.. I'm not Courtney."

He looked a little disappointed then and frowned at his medic. "Courtney!" he insisted.

Lifeline glanced at his watch. "Well.. only another hour and forty minutes or so to go.. then you'll just be rabidly grumpy and start throwing up. Won't THAT be fun?"

Doc poked his head in briefly. "How's he doing?" BeachHead took one look at him and screamed in seeming terror. "Oh.. I see.. going away now.." The physician disappeared and as if a switch had been thrown, BeachHead stopped screaming.

The medic shook a finger at him again. "That's really not nice. Doc made you better."

BeachHead shifted angrily in the bed. "OW Courtney!"

Lifeline sighed. "I don't get paid enough.. I really don't."

* * * *

After another hour, BeachHead had gotten to the point of chatting amiably with them both. Nothing he said made the slightest bit of sense, being a string of unrelated words. But he said them in such a calm conversational way that you started to doubt your own sanity after a while. He'd also remained completely firm in his conviction that poor Lifeline should be called Courtney although he stopped referring to Courtney as Mama, and decided she was 'Mmm-hmmph' instead. Lifeline had only needed to use the kitty threat once more, although Doc had to leave twice to stop him from screaming at the top of his lungs.

Suddenly right in the middle of a very earnest statement involving random words, Beachhead's eyes rolled up in his head and he went limp. Lifeline jumped up and grabbed at a drawer, pulling bottles and syringes out to draw fluid into the needle. CoverGirl had reached to pat the unresponsive man gently, and looked at the medic in confusion.

He nodded at the side of the bed. "Hit the call button, tell Doc to get in here NOW." She fumbled at the button, telling the nurse who answered the page to relay the message to Doc. She saw the heavy limbs begin to twitch and frowned.

Lifeline glanced over. "Dang it! You haven't done this the last two times! Why now!?" Doc rushed in and the medic tossed the bottle he was using aside, adjusting the syringe as he moved to the bedside. "Doc.. he's seizing."

The dark-skinned medical officer groaned. "What? I thought he was past that stage already, how long?"

Inserting the needle into the i.v. cannula, Lifeline glanced at his watch. "Two minutes.."

Doc leaned to shine a light into the glazed eyes briefly. "Hit him up with the meds, you might catch it in time." Almost seeming in reaction to his statement, the limp body twisted rhythmically. "Crap. Come on Beach.. you haven't done this in a while, not today."

The meds seemed to take effect quickly however. CoverGirl felt horrified as the capable sergeant major jerked uncontrollably. It passed quickly and within a few minutes was over, the Ranger opened up confused eyes.

"Whut happen?"

Lifeline blinked and looked at Doc. "Hey Beach.. you awake?"

He turned a tired looking face towards the medic. "Yeah... where are we?"

Lifeline took a deep breath. "We're in Medical.. you're sick, but you'll be fine."

BeachHead nodded calmly and lifted a wrist as far as he could. "Okay Courtney, get these danged chickens off me."

CoverGirl sighed and he looked at her. "Whut?"

She looked at the two medical personnel. "You know.. it's not his confusion, it's his utter conviction that he's RIGHT."

Lifeline suddenly grinned. "Should have seen the lemming invasion when he got loose." Doc shuddered. "Okay.. maybe it's good you didn't. I thought it was rather amazing."

Doc glared at him. "That's because YOU thought it was a good idea to drop a few hundred marbles on the floor to keep him busy picking them up. I, on the other hand, had to try to sedate him while he was screaming and curling up in a ball protecting imaginary lemmings."

Lifeline nodded. "Yes.. amazing. What can I say? Life here is never dull for long."

BeachHead scowled at him. "Shut it Courtney! There's purple fourteen light brigade cracker shift!"

He was patted on his arm. "Okay.. that's nice."

* * * *

End Chapter:

What fun! I have a friend who acts just like this when he wakes up, and it's hysterical to watch.. as long as you don't let him grab you and snap one of your fingers, which he finds very funny at the time. Hope you're enjoying, please review, or at least keep reading! I'm working on a new chapter for Vacation.. hang in there!


	4. Chapter 4: Coherency

Chap 4

Wow, so a few people like the story, yay!! Here's some more.. seems more than just me have experienced the same behavior(either themselves or people they know)from people waking up after surgery. Poor BeachHead.. and now he gets tormented by people too.

* * * *

Finally BeachHead managed to settle down and begin making sense more or less. Every ten minutes or so he would decide to get up, rediscover the restraints, and bitch them out roundly over it. He would wind down and lie back and sulk over it.

Lifeline was sitting in a chair on one side of the bed, while Covergirl had the opposite side. She termed it 'flanking maneuvers' which caused an entire conversation about tortoises and bananas that made her brain hurt.

Beach turned his head to look at the medic sleepily. "Lifeline.. I don't feel well at all."

The medic hummed indistinctly at him, reading the medical journal in his lap. Then he suddenly jumped up. "Whoa!! You called me Lifeline! You're awake?" He was treated to a scathing look. "Sorry.. you've taken a longer time than normal to wake up this time, bud. How are you feeling?" The sergeant shook his head. "That bad? Nauseous yet?" He nodded. "Alright.. let me go get Doc, see if he wants to try that new drug out on you." He hurried out and Beach laid his head back on the pillow, taking deep breaths.

CoverGirl shifted in her chair. "Is there anything I can get you?" He was startled badly and jumped, twisting in the bed to look over at her. "Sorry.. I thought you knew I was here..."

He blinked at her. "Umm.. hey.. no.. why.. why are you here?" He suddenly struggled against the restraints. "Geez..."

She stood and reached to lay one hand on his arm. "Shh.. it's alright. You asked me to be here. You don't remember?"

He blushed deep crimson and lay still, closing his eyes. "Noo.. wait.. yeah. Lifeline told me he'd give me pills instead of me having surgery. That bastard! He out-and-out lied to me!"

She looked away, biting her lip. "Well, no.. he didn't tell you that. I told you that. But I was being sarcastic, I didn't know you'd think it was the honest truth."

He stared at her in disbelief. "Well.. what did you expect? Dang it Cinderella! Why would you do that?" He started to sit up and cursed again as the strap stopped him. "Get this junk off me!" She shook her head. "Look! Unhook these danged straps before I puke and aspirate it!" She heard him gag slightly, even though he swallowed hard.

She hesitated but when he gagged again, she rushed to unbuckle the chest strap. She only got one wrist restraint undone before he sat up and leaned to gag harder. She grabbed up the wastebasket for him and winced as he threw up several times. Lifeline came back in with a handful of bottles and sighed. She shrugged, rubbing the poor sergeant's back as he continued to heave.

The medic looked at the bottles, setting aside two to lift the third up. "Well.. we can still try this one. It might soothe some of the nausea." By the time he pulled the dose and injected it into the i.v., BeachHead was laying back on his back. "Hey Beach.. sorry, I brought some water for you when you're ready for it."

He tried to lift his right wrist, found it still locked down and simply reached with his left instead. "Gimme.." He sipped at the water, rinsing his mouth out. Then he tucked the bottle next to his chest, closing his eyes and looking distinctly greenish. "Thanks.. I'm sorry Courtney.. thanks for the bucket."

She undid the last restraint for him. "It's okay, you can't help being sick."

He blinked at her, looking tired. "Yeah.. well. I'm sorry I asked you to stay. It's bad enough that the medics gotta put up with me. I shouldn't have asked you to also."

She sat down and reached up to squeeze his thick wrist in her hand. "Hey, it's fine, I don't mind. I hoped I could help you, but I don't know if it was any better." He shrugged and looked embarrassed. "It's okay. I think Lifeline appreciated the help."

He glanced over at the medic who was just finishing the notes in the chart. "Yeah.. well.. he gets to put up with me as part of his job. I think that deep down inside, he's gleeful at seeing me being miserable."

The medic sighed lightly. "No, I'm not gleeful. I wish you didn't have poor reactions. I'm not nearly as sadistic as you try to make me out to be." He glanced over and grabbed for the wastebasket again, getting it in place just before the man lunged upwards, spewing up the rest of the contents of his stomach. "Easy.." He put one hand on the sweaty forehead and kept it elevated while he heaved repeatedly. "Well, I guess the new drug didn't work very well."

BeachHead finished puking again and fumbled the bottle of water out to clear his mouth again. By the time he lay down again, he was holding his abdomen tightly. "Oh gaaawd.. this is unfair.. I can't be sick after surgery on my stomach.. I'm gonna tear all the stitches out.."

Lifeline tugged his hands away. "Let me see.. we did the smallest incision possible, and Doc put in enough stitches that you should be okay." He tugged the blankets out of the way, and BeachHead pulled them back up, glaring at him. "Come on.. let me look."

Glancing at CoverGirl, he shook his head. "Stop! Geez.. she's standing right here!"

She laughed suddenly. "Seriously?? Beach.. you're worried I might see your stomach? You work out in shorts for god's sake!"

He gave her a glare as well. "Dang it woman! I'm naked here, let me be!" She tried not to laugh and it must have shown on her face. "Shut it!"

She held up her hands. "How about I go get some juice for you? Maybe it'll help settle your stomach?" He closed his eyes and turned green again, and she shook her head. "Sorry.. water... I'll be back in a few minutes."

Once she left, he let Lifeline examine his surgical site, which looked fine. "You'll be fine, I think the reactions you get to the anesthesia will be more serious than the recovery from the surgery. But the i.v. antibiotics and fluids are really important right now. Doc is really mad that you just ignored the symptoms instead of getting checked."

Beach snorted, and rolled onto his side to try to find a comfortable position. "Whutever.." He closed his eyes as another wave of nausea hit. "Lifeline..." He looked at the slender medic for a second. "Thanks."

"Sure thing Beach. I'm gonna go get you some cold packs for your head. Is it starting to hurt yet?" He looked at the doorway. "Will you be okay for a while? I'll have to go down to the freezers, ours is currently barely a refrigerator until we get repairs done."

"Yeah.. I'm fine. I can throw up all by myself, I'm a big boy."

The medic walked out, passing Kamakura in the hallway. "Hey.. he's awake now, you can leave." The apprentice looked uncertain. "Thanks, but Snake Eyes always leaves once he's fully awake. I promise, it's okay. Tell him I told you to go ahead and leave."

Brightening, Kamakura nodded. "Okay, if Sensei usually leaves, then it should be fine for me to leave too. I'll go let him know. The Sergeant Major will be fine?"

Lifeline nodded at him. "He'll be okay, he'll be staying with us in Medical for a couple days." Kamakura crouched to jump up, and Lifeline cleared his throat loudly. "No.. you can walk out, using the hallways." The apprentice looked at him blankly. "Walk. On the floor. Use the hallways. And tell Snake Eyes I said hello."

Kamakura looked very disappointed but walked off down the hall anyway. Lifeline hurried down to the nurse's station to check in with Doc. He was technically off duty now, but he was determined to stick around, at least until he needed to go sleep. He knew that Doc and the other medical personnel would take care of the grumpy sergeant, and he also knew that he was the only person patient enough to put up with him without getting into screaming matches that ended up stressing their patient out worse.

Although to everyone else in the Joe team, Lifeline and BeachHead butted heads constantly, there was an uneasy truce between them. Lifeline understood why the drill sergeant rode him so hard, and BeachHead knew the medic would only force him into treatment if it was really important to his health. But on the surface, there was sniping, grumbling and arguments.

There were even times when Lifeline was convinced that BeachHead argued with him for the sheer sport of it. When he caught the sergeant out on a two mile run, after being grounded with a damaged knee, Lifeline had all but run him down in a Jeep, gotten in his face and yelled at him, and eventually gotten him loaded up in the vehicle to drive him back to the PT area. Despite his honest anger at the sergeant risking permanent damage, he had the sneaking suspicion that BeachHead was smirking to himself the entire time he was screaming back at him, and intended to fold as soon as he'd been caught. The whole fight was strictly to keep up appearances to the greenshirts he'd been running behind.

Other than a sore throat from yelling, Lifeline occasionally enjoyed the arguments, as long as he won one once in a while. Thus, he picked the arguments carefully, so he had a good chance of winning. He did the same thing with Snake Eyes, although with either of the tough Army soldiers, he could always fall back on Doc to order them, and Doc could fall back on getting Hawk involved. Both the ninja and drill instructor considered that to be cheating, in the game of dominance.

CoverGirl met him at the desk a few minutes later. "Hey.. so I'm guessing his Grumpiness is ready for me to go back?" Lifeline nodded at her. "Can he have juice, or something?"

The medic handed her a frozen cold pack. "He can have pretty much whatever he likes, as far as juice, soda, water.. but just so you know, he isn't going to keep any of it down. He'll just throw it back up."

She sighed. "So he won't drink it if I bring it to him?"

He smiled at her. "Oh no, he'll drink it, he'll just throw up afterwards. But I think he prefers throwing up to dry heaves. I know I do."

CoverGirl nodded. "Okay.. I'll go take him water and juice." Lifeline nodded, saying he was headed to get his own lunch while she was available to sit with BeachHead.

* * * *

"Hey Beach.. brought you more water, a cold pack and some juice. Make you happier about being sick." She walked in and found him curled up under his blankets.

"Shut up and get out." His voice was more hoarse than normal.

She tilted her head and dangled the cold pack. "You sure? If your head hurts, this might help some?" He poked his head out further. "I'm not here to bug you Beach, honest. I want to help."

He shifted around under the covers, and reached a hand out for his half empty bottle of water to sip at it. "Whutever. Go.. stay. I can't make ya do a danged thing right now."

She moved over to get a washrag and dampened it, wrapping it around the slushy cold pack. "Here.. you look like you're miserable." She pressed it to his forehead gently.

He grunted softly, and turned his head into the pack a little more. "Thanks. I'll try not to throw up on you."

She smiled down at him. "That's just about the sweetest thing you've ever said to me Beach." His lips quirked upwards, and he reached up to put his hand over hers, tugging the pack lower so it covered his forehead and eyes. "I'm so sorry you feel bad."

"Ain't yer fault. Jus' tha way things are." He took a shakey breath and she felt his shoulders move as he retched slightly. "Gawwd.." She'd always thought the accent was adorable, even when it showed up while he was screaming invectives at the recruits. It always got worse the more emotional he was. Whether it was anger or excitement, when he got wound up, it got more pronounced. CoverGirl had never pointed it out to him, knowing he'd just get prickley over it.

A slightly snide voice from the doorway made her turn, although BeachHead didn't react. "Well well..." Flint leaned on the doorjam. "BeachHead laid up again?"

She frowned but Beach answered before she could snap at the Warrant Officer. "Yeah, whut do you want?"

Flint sauntered to the center of the room. "Shouldn't that be phrased a bit better?" He got a snort as a reply. "Alright alright.. I'm just here to get a update for Hawk. He was going to come down himself, but he's tied up with a video conference. So I had to come down to the infirmary and check up on our drill instructor who dropped like a sack of potatoes out on the course in full view of an entire group of Joes. So... how ya feelin' there, big man?"

BeachHead lifted the cold pack to glare weakly at him. "How 'bout you come a lil' closer? Maybe I can throw up on ya again, like las' time ya came around to poke me."

Flint grinned widely. "No thanks. As long as I can go report to Hawk that you're still grumpy and vomiting up a lung, I'm fine over on this side of the room."

The sergeant put the pack back over his eyes and swallowed. "Whutever.. you can leave."

Flint smirked. "Maybe I wanna stick around... watch you throw up a few times. Might be entertaining."

The voice that came out from under the cold pack sounded bored. "Whutever.. you keep buggin' me, an' I'm gonna let Snakes know.. jus' sayin'."

CoverGirl glared at the warrant officer. "And I'll be having a chat with Lady Jaye." Suddenly Flint shifted his weight uneasily. "A long chat."

He stepped back towards the door. "Well.. Hawk will want my update.. so.. I'll be going."

BeachHead took a deep breath before he replied. "Yaa... you do that."

Flint disappeared and CoverGirl cursed under her breath. BeachHead looked at her with some confusion. "Whut's yer problem?"

She looked towards the door. "He's just being a jerk."

He glanced to the door as if he expected to see someone new. "What? Flint? Big danged deal. It's the only time he gets a chance to torment me, instead of the other way 'round. Las' time I managed to vomit applesauce all over him. Was the best part of the whole danged thing."

She laughed slightly. "I bet." He gagged slightly and reached to grab the waterbottle and chugged a third of it. "Don't go so fast! You'll.." She grabbed the trash can for him as he levered himself up to vomit. "What? Do you WANT to throw up?"

He shook his head and coughed, then gagged again, heaving. She waited it out and gave him the bottle back to rinse and spit. He settled back onto his side, and felt around the covers for his frozen pack. "No.. but if I'm gonna throw up, I want to danged well have something to throw up. If I start dry heaving, I can't stop. I hate this.. where's that danged frozen thing? Did I drop it on the floor?" She set aside the bucket and rummaged through the blankets. He pushed her hands away. "Stay away from me, Cinderella.. jus' look on the floor or summin.." She looked under the bed, and spotted it wedged between the mattress and railing.

"Here... " Plucking it free, she rewrapped it and handed it back. He sighed and flopped it over his eyes, choosing to lie on his back this time. "You should hold a pillow across

your stomach when you throw up.. it'll make it less painful."

He grunted at her. "How would you know?"

She smiled and used a finger to lift the edge of the cold pack. "I had MY appendix out when I was twelve. You wanna see?" She lifted the edge of her shirt to show off the extremely light scar on her side. "I had a really sore throat after the surgery and kept coughing. The nurse made me hold a pillow, and it hurt way less."

He looked at her scar.. and let his eyes roam the skin surrounding it just a little. "Hunh.. I'll remember that." She stroked fingers over her scar slowly, and he watched her do it before tearing his eyes away.

He closed his eyes. "You can go.. thanks fer the water and ice pack." She tilted her head, letting the edge of her shirt fall back over her side. "An' thanks.. fer being here.."

"I don't have to go." He shrugged but opened his eyes. "I mean.. Lifeline said he's was going.. umm.. to lunch. I could just wait around until he gets back. In case you need anything." She smiled at him.

"Well..." He looked away and then put the ice pack back into place, hiding his eyes. "If ya wanna stay.." She popped the top on the juice and took his water bottle. He pushed the pack up to look at her. "What are ya doin?"

She added part of the juice to the water that was left and shook it. "Here.. at least it will cut the taste out of your mouth. Sometimes the sugar settles your stomach better to. Worth a try." He shrugged and took the bottle, sipping lightly and putting it back beside him in the folds of blanket.

"Whutever floats yer boat Barbie."

She took a deeper breath and leaned on the edge of the bed. "Why do you do that? Why are you so mean to people who try to be friendly?" He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "No, really. I don't mean out during PT, or on a mission.. I mean during downtime."

He looked uncomfortable. "Look.. you don't like it, leave. I don't have to be nice to you." She pursed her lips and looked at him, waiting. "Go on.. walk out. You're gonna do it eventually, and I'm too danged tired to fight with you for ten minutes before you do it."

She thought about it. "Is that why you get so mad? Because I leave rather than keep fighting with you?"

He puffed out a breath. "No! I get mad because.. " Suddenly he deflated. "I'm too tired for this, why can't you jus' leave. It doesn't matter." She reached out to drag the chair into place. "Gawd.. you're not leavin?"

"Nope. We can just sit here and chat. It'll be fun."

He grunted. "I changed my mind, I am gonna throw up on you."

She grinned brightly. "I'm not Flint, that won't work on me. Besides, you haven't had any applesauce to eat yet. I can take water and juice."

"Great... so what are we gonna chat about? High heels and nail polish?" She tilted her head at him.

"If you want to. How about we start out with 'why Wayne Sneeden joined the Army'? After all, you know why I joined."

He shifted the cold pack over his eyes again. "Whutever. I joined the Army for adventure and fun, it's been a pure Disney ride." She poked him in his side and he jerked violently, clutching at himself. "GAWD!!! Woman, I swear! Geez that hurt!" He glared at her while she apologized. "What? If anyone is gonna torment me, just call friggin Flint back in! At least I won't feel bad when I punch him in the face!"

She sighed. "I'm SORRY! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

He just groaned and twisted onto his side again, cursing while he got shifted around. "Yer a pain in my butt, Cinderella.. "

CoverGirl sat down. "Sorry.. do you just have an issue with me, or is it women in general in the Army? I notice you pick on the women an awful lot."

He grunted but opened his eyes to look at her. "That's ridiculous. As long as you can do the work, I don't care what you are. It's the ones that want a break because they're female that rankle me so bad." He shifted himself again, struggling to get himself into a position that was comfortable. "Do you know at Fort Benning.. they put almost every female recruit in my groups? You know why? Cause I was the only drill who'd give them a fair shot. I wouldn't pass them to make some quota, but I wouldn't drum them out just cause they was female either. They got to rise or fall according to what they could do. And then I get here.. and all I hear is how I must hate women in the military." He made a irritated noise. "All I ever hear is crap about how bad I am. Makes me wonder why I don't just quit."

She frowned. She couldn't imagine GI Joe without the tough sergeant berating troops in PT sessions. "I.. I don't think you should quit. And more people care than you think."

He just grunted in reply. Sticking an arm out he hunted through the blankets again. "Where my danged water now? I keep losing stuff.."

She stood up and plucked the offending bottle from behind him. "Here.." He took it and sipped. "How's your head?"

"Hurts like there's a brigade inside it trying to dig out with dull chisels. You know whut would make it feel better?" She hummed in question. "You shutting yer yap for a while so I can rest in peace here."

"You're such a hardass."

"You're such a danged butterfly."

"Big tough Ranger Man."

He smiled slightly. "You bet." She smiled at him in reply. "Toughest you'll ever meet, that's fer sure."

She nodded, giving in gracefully for once. "Yep. Toughest sack of potatoes I ever met."

"Shut UP Barbiedoll!"

* * * *

End Chapter:

Well, there's some tension between them two.. of course, being laid up has to be utter torment for someone like BeachHead, so I'd expect him to be short-tempered and grumpy. Seems he's bearing out that theory.

Hope you're enjoying, and I love reviews. I savor them and put them aside like tiny shiney bits to look at every so often. Still working on the Vacation chapter, sorry it's taking so long!


	5. Chapter 5: Out of bed

Chap 5

Another chapter... and hey! He's out of bed in this one!

* * * *

Doc poked his head in the door. "Hey.. how's Beach doing?"

The Ranger groaned under the damp towel he'd put over his face. He said it was to have the cool surface against his face, but CoverGirl somewhat suspected he hoped he'd smother himself to death. "I'm gonna dieeeeee..."

Doc smiled and walked in further. "I doubt it."

Beach heaved a sigh. "I'm afraid yer right, I'm gonna live. Unless my head goes ahead and explodes.." He groaned again and twisted carefully under his covers. "I can't even make Cinderella leave me alone.. gawd.. someone take pity on me and shoot me."

CoverGirl exchanged a long-suffering look with the doctor. "Yes, giving you fresh cold packs and juice is horrible of me.. I'm so very very sorry. Poor BeachHead."

He pushed the edge of the towel aside enough to peer out with a bloodshot eye. "See? See?? Make her go away, please gawd Doc.. " He saw Doc smile at him and groaned, dragging the cloth back over his face. "Ya'll all hate me.. "

Doc shook his head. "No.. I don't hate you. I brought some new meds to try on your headache. They shouldn't make you sleepy either." He checked the iv hanging beside the bed.. "I'll send in a new bag of fluids. You also need to get up and walk some.. if you're over being dizzy."

"Can't walk.. you sliced open my belly." Beach sighed heavily.

Looking bemused, Doc injected the new meds into the depleting bad of fluids. "Sorry, you know the routine, it's part of recovery. The more you get up and walk, the easier it'll get. I'll send in a gown for you." BeachHead's neck turned red, although his face was hidden. "Lifeline just got back from lunch, and I'll send him in to give you a hand, okay?"

BeachHead swallowed hard. "Please don't mention food.."

Reaching to fasten his stethoscope onto his ears, Doc tapped his arm lightly. "I'm gonna listen to your chest.. don't talk." He tucked a hand under the edge of the covers and Beach jumped. "I know I know.. cold..." He listened for a few seconds. "Breathe in deep." He moved his hand slightly. "Again." Pulling the instrument loose, he draped it around his neck and gave the sergeant major a pat. "Alright. Try to start getting some juice to stay down, and in a while we'll get you soup."

He watched BeachHead gag and swallow again. "Please gawd Doc.. don't talk about food.. please.. I jus' stopped throwin' up."

Doc chuckled slightly. "Sorry.. I'll send Lifeline in to give you a hand getting dressed and up for a walk." He ignored the grumble. "Try not to give my medic too hard of a time."

BeachHead nodded slightly. "I'll try..." He pulled the towel off his face. "Take Cinderella out with ya.. " Doc simply chuckled at him again and left, ignoring his request. "Aww man."

CoverGirl sighed at him. "You know Beach.. a girl would start to think you didn't like her, the way you keep trying to get rid of me." He looked at her frankly. "What?"

"CoverG... Courtney." He stopped and thought for a second. "It ain't that I don't like ya.. honest. But.. I ain't good company like this, and I don't wanna make you any more angry at me than you already are.. 'kay?" He shifted himself more upright slowly. "I'm.... I'm happy you were here for me.. ya know.. cause I really.. " He picked at the edge of the blanket. "I don't like waking up from surgery, and I know I act weird.."

She sighed at him. "It's fine. I'm not telling. I was glad I could help, even if I do irritate you." Reaching out, she placed one hand on his forearm hesitantly. "Beach.. I really do want to be your friend."

He looked at her sharply. "You are my friend Courtney. Geez.. I ain't got that many friends, but I thought you were one of them." He suddenly looked embarrassed. "I don't show it real well I guess. I'm sorry.. " He tilted his head sideways. "I've been told by Psyche-Out.. I got no social skills, I guess I need to learn some, huh?"

CoverGirl leaned in and smiled at him. "You do okay.. I'll try to kick you any time you get too oblivious." He snorted and shifted himself in the bed, moving closer to the side she was leaning against. "I'm glad you're gonna be okay."

He looked away, then reached out and twined his fingers in hers awkwardly. "Yeah.. you ain't gotta worry about me. I'll be fine."

She squeezed his fingers. "Well, I like worrying over you. Call it a hobby.." She watched him carefully not looking at her and smiled to herself. She turned to the door when a throat was cleared.

"Not that I want to interrupt anything.." Lifeline held up a bundle of cloth. "But BeachHead has to get dressed and walking."

Beach turned loose of her hand and struggled to sit up, clutching at his stomach tightly. "You ain't interrupting anything.. and I ain't about to be running around in one of those flimsy gowns." Covergirl snickered and he glared at her. "What's so funny?"

"Oh.. I was just thinking, you're so shy! What's wrong with the nurses getting a nice look at your butt? You're in great shape, I bet it's real pretty."

He gave her a withering glare that should have sent her to the floor in a dead faint. She giggled at him instead. "Oh get out! I gotta put on clothes of some sort.. Lifeline, you did bring me pants, right?"

The medic shook his head, rolling his eyes as he handed over the cloth bundle. "Yesss.. although Doc said give you a gown, I brought you some drawstring pants."

BeachHead shook the soft blue pants out and frowned at them. "You couldn't bring me real pants?"

Lifeline raised an eyebrow. "Would you prefer I go get you a gown? We have these short ones in.. "

"Shut up... CoverGirl.. get out! I gotta get dressed." She crossed her arms and smirked at him. "I'm not kidding, get out."

She shifted to stand casually, watching him in the bed. "Why don't you ask me really nicely?" He glared at her. "Go on.. you wanna change? Ask me politely to step outside for a moment."

He locked gazes with her. Then he whipped the blankets off and slid to the edge of the bed. Shaking out the pants, he bent awkwardly to get them on, and stood very slowly, before drawing them up and tying the drawstring. Then he looked at her. "Get an eyeful, Barbiedoll?" Lifeline reached to take one of his elbows and supported him while he straightened up.

She coughed slightly, feeling her face grow hot. "Umm yeah.. nice.. real nice, Ranger man.. you couldn't just ask me to leave..." She looked aside.

He smirked at her. "Why should I? I got nothing to be ashamed of." She turned deeper red and his grin grew. "What's wrong, girlie? Bitten off more than you can chew... so to speak?" He limped forward a step and winced. "Geez... Doc is a sadist.. I bet he stirred my guts with a danged fork while he was in there."

Lifeline steadied him. "Doc only used a spoon, don't be silly.. come on.. take a step.. " The Ranger shifted forward a step at a time, wincing badly. "Hurts don't it?"

Beach growled lowly. "Don't start gettin' snippy with me, medic. I'm walking, I'm not even griping at you that much. Don't start pushin' yer luck." CoverGirl reached to slide his iv pole to catch it up before he ran out of iv tube. "Thanks Courtney.. figures he'll accidentally forget I've got tubes running off all over." He took the pole in hand and leaned on it as he walked. He stopped and took a deep breath, then reached to put a hand over the neat incision. "Gawd it hurts.."

CoverGirl nodded at him. "You're tough, walk it off, Ranger man." He glared at her but walked anyway. "That's it..."

He grunted at her. "Thanks, I don't need a cheering section. Although.. if you wanna put on one of those tiny outfits again.. I'm sure no one here would object.."

She sighed at him. "Don't you ever let up?"

"Nope.. although I'm told I'm a lot quieter when I'm sleepin'. You wanna find out fer yerself?"

"BEACHHEAD!!"

Lifeline sighed. "Could you two quit until I'm not at ground zero? I have no desire to become collateral damage."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Having fun reading? I'm having fun writing!


	6. Chapter 6: The yelling, Oy it get's loud

Chap 6

Well, the medical personnel have been awfully kind to poor Beach.. it's about time they set him straight on his lack of desire to report to the infirmary when he's ill.

Thanks for reading, I know, not as exciting as other fics, but I'm having fun writing it.

Mucho thanks go out to Mame, who wrote most of the cadences for me! I struggled for 3 days to write one.. and she just whipped out half a dozen especially written for BeachHead in a few hours. My friends get sucked into my weird obsessions! Isn't she grand!?!

Enjoy!

* * * *

BeachHead was sitting up in bed in the morning, surrounded by his weekly paperwork. If he was laid up for another day, at least he would be caught up on all his files. CoverGirl had been sent out to bring him his work, and then finally he'd managed to convince her to leave. Since she was on duty in four hours, it hadn't taken much convincing.

Doc came in with a clipboard, reading over the page on it. "Alright. You have anything at breakfast? How's the nausea?" He watched BeachHead shrug. "Headache?"

"It hurts, and I'm queasy. I drank half a glass of apple juice about an hour ago."

Doc nodded. "That's good."

He nodded in reply without looking up, still scribbling on a notepad. "I threw it up fifty-five minutes ago."

Doc sighed and rubbed his temple. "That's not so good. Have you kept down any liquids?" The Ranger shook his head, apparently unconcerned as he flipped pages over one by one until he found a sheet of numbers. "One day I'll find something to help you get over your surgery hangovers. But first.." He fixed a stern look on the drill instructor. "BeachHead.. you're an important member of the Joe team, you're in the line of command, and you have a lot of duties here."

"Yep."

Doc narrowed his eyes. "You can't keep ignoring your health, if you think something is wrong, then you should come in and get checked. I know you think that since you're in such great shape you shouldn't ever get ill, but it happens to everyone. When you get sick, or you're in pain, you come see me. Do you understand?"

"Yep."

Doc stepped closer. "And will you DO it? Or will you ignore me, like you've been doing?"

"Probably ignore you. Jus' guessin' though, I can't predict the future." He didn't even glance up, instead shuffling the finished report to be sure he'd including the equipment list. "Anything else?"

Doc distinctly felt the vein in his forehead begin to throb. His voice rose dramatically even though he rarely yelled. "BeachHead.. you WILL come in when you're sick! We CAN'T just somehow 'know' you need help!"

BeachHead blinked at him and held out a hand towards the file on the clipboard Doc was holding. "Can I see that?" Doc glanced down at it and handed it over. The sergeant pulled the pages off the clipboard and handed them back, clipping his forms onto the clipboard and picking up his pen again. "Thanks, makes it easier using the board." He began filling out the boxes with information on one of the recruits, referring back to the page laid on the sheet in front of him.

Doc stood there for a second and then stormed out. "I SWEAR!! I SWEAR!! If he doesn't kill himself not coming in.. I'LL KILL HIM MYSELF!" He slammed the papers down onto the nurse's station as he passed it. "STUPID STUBBORN RANGER!! Where's Duke!?" His voice faded as he disappeared down the hallway. Lifeline poked his head out of the broom closet when he couldn't hear him any longer.

The medic checked carefully before he exited the closet, closing the door behind himself and moving down to the occupied room. "Hey Beach. Feeling any better?"

BeachHead hummed to himself, scratching his head with the pen absently. "Yeah.. some. Still can't keep anything down.. head's splitting." He reached over to scratch at the tape over his iv. "Doc is all mad over somethin'."

Lifeline pushed his hand aside. "Don't pull that iv loose. Doc's going off to yell at Duke about you... again." The sergeant lifted a shoulder casually. "He's right though, you knew something was wrong."

"Thought it was the gumbo. Not like I could know what was wrong." BeachHead's voice was low and distracted. "Look.. if I'd known I was gonna fall over, I'da been in here earlier.." He searched through the stack of personnel files. "Where's Williams' eval sheet? Ahh.. " He plucked one out and checked it for a number to enter into the form on the stolen clipboard. "I don't go out to try to make you medics crazy. But I don't need to be babied ever' time I get a nick or a cold either."

Lifeline shook his head. "This wasn't a cold.. and I'll point out that a slash to the bone the entire length of your forearm isn't a 'nick' either!"

Beach finally looked up. "It wasn't that bad, I bandaged it!"

The medic rolled his eyes. "You wrapped it in gauze, it was bleeding through the inch of bandaging, and it took nearly a hundred stitches to close it!"

The sergeant shrugged at him. "It woulda quit bleedin' eventually. And I didn't appreciate you guys telling everyone to tattle on me if they caught me without a sling on it either." He shifted further up to the head of the bed. "I gotta take another walk.. it's been an hour." Gathering up the papers, he put them aside and got up, wincing in pain. "Gawd.. this hurts too danged much.." Despite his complaints, he managed to get to his feet, standing up slowly while clutching his side. "Ahhh yeah.. " He took the iv pole in hand and walked slowly. "You comin? I might jus' decide to leave completely."

Knowing he was being baited, Lifeline still followed him. "Yeah, you might go wandering off through the Pit in pajamas trailing a iv pole."

BeachHead snorted loudly. "Yeah.. well. I might." He stopped and closed his eyes, going a little bit green. "Oh yeah.. sick.. " He swallowed hard, determined not to vomit.

The medic hovered, waiting him out. "You okay?"

He straightened up and nodded firmly. "Yeah." Walking slowly, he reached the end of the medical ward and found Williams in the 'lobby'. "What are you doin' down here? You fall off the steps or somethin'?"

Private Williams snapped to attention, smiling widely. "No Sergeant major! I came to see how you were, Sergeant Major!"

Growling lowly, BeachHead jerked his chin towards the corridor. "Get outa here. I'm fine. You buncha greenshirts better have done the morning PT too, whether I was there or not."

Williams nodded and held out a small video camera. "Yes Sergeant! I was to bring you this also, Corporal Miller requests you view it."

Beach took the camera and grunted at him. "If you bunch cause any trouble while I'm down here, I'll stomp you all into the mud, you tell your buddies that. Now GIT!" Williams jumped and nodded, spinning around and trotting away. BeachHead turned and walked slowly back up the hallway, with the medic walking beside him.

Lifeline looked after the greenshirt as he disappeared. "How do you do that? How can you stand hunched over in pain, bare-chested in pajamas, hooked up to iv lines, obviously sick as a dog.. and still manage to intimidate a man that way? I could point a tank at him and he'd stand there, and you just made him rush out with a few harsh words and a glare. I don't get it."

BeachHead's smile was a mirthless thing and even Lifeline felt a slight chill. "It's all in your reputation, Lifeline. He knows it's no empty threat."

Lifeline reached to untangle the iv line, shaking his head. "Well.. but you're not invulnerable, Beach."

BeachHead chuckled at him, pointing into his room. "I've walked far enough, back to paperwork. I don't think I'm invulnerable.. I'm just tough enough to outlast most opponents. Long as I can still get back up to throw another punch, I'll do it. It's not that I won't go down, it's that I keep getting back up.. and I don't go down for free, I'll do as much damage as possible." He sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed, holding his side again. "I ain't gotta be the strongest, or the biggest, or even the best at fightin'. I just gotta be the meanest and nastiest. I think I got that down pat."

Both of them turned to look as Duke's voice carried down the hallway sounding annoyed. "BEACHHEAD!!"

Lifeline smiled at the sergeant who looked startled. "You're not the only mean one here. Sounds like my cue to leave..." He scooted out of the room just as Duke strode in through the door looking dark and angry. BeachHead stood up as quickly as possible and gave a salute.

Duke glowered and pointed at the bed. "Sit down." The Ranger saw him gritting his teeth as he settled gingerly back onto his bed. Duke waited for him to get seated before he started yelling again.

"BeachHead.. it's not enough that I gotta make up for you being on medical leave.. nooo... you have to ticc off Doc so he comes storming up to MY office and yells at ME.. when it's nothing I did, no, it's that YOU are acting like a five-year-old ignoring doctor's orders!! Now instead of getting MY work done, I gotta come down to medical and give YOU a hard time."

The sergeant raised his eyes to the angry face staring him down. "Yes sir."

Duke waited. "That's it? Nothing else?"

BeachHead sighed heavily. "Sorry Top. I don't try and make Doc mad at me, I really don't. I'm doin' everything Doc's askin' of me.. I can't change nothin' I done. He's mad cause I didn't know I had appendicitis. Heck Top.. I didn't wanna fall over in front of everyone."

Duke puffed out a breath. "Yeah well. He yelled at me, and I come yell at you, and that's the way it goes."

"Yes sir."

The tall blond pointed a finger at him sternly. "If you act up.. even a little bit.. I swear I'll think of some punishment so horrible, it'll give your greenshirts nightmares for a month. You understand me?"

"Yes sir."

Duke nodded decisively. "Good. I have a lot more important things to be doing. Some new recruit has been running his mouth about how 'chickies' shouldn't be wearing Joe uniforms, and I've already heard that Scarlett is waiting for him in the hand-to-hand class. I gotta go make sure she doesn't break any major limbs on him."

BeachHead stood up abruptly. "One of MY recruits?! I'll pull his head off!"

Duke snorted, fixing him with a glare. "You'll sit back down until Doc releases you. And no.. it's some Major from a SEAL team that came in last night. He was supposed to be training some of the Joes in some new technology." He pointed at the bed. "Sit down." Beach sat obediently. "You do what Doc tells you to, and stop arguing with him. He says you'll be ready to go back to desk duty tomorrow morning."

BeachHead nearly exploded. "DESK DUTY?!? Whadda kiddin me??"

Duke pointed and he shut up, obviously furious. "I swear, one word.. one single word, and I'll order you to stand down for two weeks of medical leave." BeachHead sat silently, fuming but with his lips pressed shut. "What's that? Did I hear something?" Duke was glared at. "I didn't think so. Now behave so that I can go run the rest of the Pit like I'm supposed to be doing."

Duke stalked out, speaking up as he passed Lifeline. "Keep him on a short leash, and figure out some way to keep him from going right back to PT tomorrow morning."

Lifeline nodded. "Yes sir.. I'll try." He watched Duke leaving. "Just figure out how to keep BeachHead in line.. then tomorrow I'll break the laws of physics.. and after that.. understanding women... no problem." He walked away, shaking his head.

* * * *

BeachHead sat in bed scowling at his paperwork. He tried to go back to filling out the evaluation reports and recommendations. Suddenly he bumped something in the covers and fished out the camera Williams had given him. "What the heck.." Picking it up, he clicked it on and pulled out the little LED screen. Alright, what are you pests showin' me.." He watched the dark screen for a second, then it finally came to life.

The greenshirts ran up onto the grassy square, the lighting telling him it was just before sunrise. They assembled in formation, a single arm's length apart and went through their normal morning PT routine, dropping to the ground to pump out push-ups while shouting off the count, just as if he was out there yelling at them every second.

He smiled to himself watching. Once the exercises were done, they took off running for the fenceline, obviously having decided amongst themselves to run the long route around the base rather than using the track for a certain number of laps. The Mouth took up the squad leader position, running at the head of the group. When he started calling off cadence BeachHead had to grin suddenly, it being a good use for the young man's mouthy nature.

Then he started listening to what they were chanting...

"Push-ups, running, obstacle course..

_Push-ups, running, obstacle course!_

If we're in pain, that's the source.

_If we're in pain, that's the source!_

Not for medals from the brass..

_Not for medals from the brass!_

Go or Beach will kick our ass.

_Go or Beach will kick our ass!!_

Sound off!!!

_One two!_

Sound off!!

_Three four!!"_

BeachHead shook his head chuckling and tilted the camera so he could hear better.

"Cobra thinks they're fine and fast.

_Cobra thinks they're fine and fast!!_

Watch us greenshirts kick their ass.

_Watch us greenshirts kick their ass!!_

BeachHead cause us all some pain.

_BeachHead cause us all some pain!!_

Still he bring you home again!!

_Still he bring us home again!!"_

BeachHead smiled widely, watching the video as they moved to the obstacle course, mobbing it to rush through at high speed. As the first men scrambled up flat upright walls, they stayed at the top to drag the others over. The strongest boosted the smaller members, and the fastest swung back to cover the slower ones, everyone carrying full field packs and rifles cradled in arms.

When they all reassembled on the square, they snapped to attention just as the reveille began to play. Sharp salutes were held until the last strains died away. Corporal Miller turned to the camera and saluted before speaking. "Morning PT preformed, Sergeant Major BeachHead!" Miller turned to the group to intone loudly, "DISSSS-MISSED!!"

The group broke apart, trotting off as the video faded. BeachHead crawled out of the bed and went to find Lifeline. Locating the medic down at his office, he held the camera out to him.

"Here.. lookit MY danged greenshirts. They're MINE..." His grin made Lifeline raise an eyebrow but he took the camera to watch it.

Beach spotted Doc as he came out of the records room. "Hey Doc.. you gotta see this..."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Again, hope you enjoyed. Next chapter, he gets to actually leave. Yes.. this endless fic of Beach in bed will end soon. "What's that?" I think I hear cheering and the cheering is saying "Finally! She can go back to writing more entertaining fics!!" Yes! I have some five up and running right now. I promise. And more vacation too!


	7. Chapter 7: Released

Chap 7

Beach finally gets to leave the infirmary, this will be the next to last chapter. Thanks for the encouragement!

* * * *

Late evening, and Beach had finally managed to keep down not only fluids but also soup. Snake Eyes had been in and out twice, once to check that no one had bothered him, and once more to bring him a report that the greenshirts had been into everything, helping wash the vehicles in the motorpool, replacing tires and changing oil. They'd rummaged through the storeroom to organize and inventory everything, much to the consternation of the supply sergeant who was more used to people dragging things out of place rather than helping to put it all in order. Not one greenshirt had been late to any practice or class, and instead had shown up early, in formation.

Doc had come in and argued with him over whether he could go back to running the PT sessions the next day. Doc wanted him in the offices only, while BeachHead insisted he could do at least some of his usual routine, and definitely could run his Joes and greenshirts through their paces. They'd ended up agreeing that Beach would supervise the PT training only, never breaking into a run, nor preforming any of the exercises himself. Lifeline had smiled in a secretive fashion, making Beach suspicious that the medic would hover around, making certain he didn't overdo it or go against Doc's orders.

"I can go eat in the messhall.. geez, I'm not gonna run off and do anything." Doc narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. Lifeline stood to the side, keeping his head down and hoping to stay out of this particular fight. He'd already removed Beach's iv lines and gotten fussed at by Doc for removing them early, and had fussed at earlier by Beach for not removing them fast enough.

Doc looked down at the floor for a second. "Did you eat food for lunch?"

"Uhh... yeah.. sort of.. late lunch.. and it was soup.. but it had crackers."

Doc glared. "So.. no solid food."

"Crackers are solid." Beach was trying extremely hard to sound quiet and reasonable. The last thing he wanted was for Doc to get all angry again. He was gritting his teeth a lot. "I'll get light bland food."

Doc thought it over. "Lifeline.. have you had dinner yet?" The medic looked startled. "Because you could take your dinner break, and walk Beach down to the messhall and have some dinner."

Lifeline looked upwards, but nodded. "Yes, I can go have dinner.. and I'll make sure Beach stays out of trouble."

The sergeant major grumbled. "I don't need a babysitter." Doc just smiled at him. "I feel fine, I don't need to stay in Medical."

"Yes I'm aware that's what you think." Doc looked remarkably unconcerned. "I'll tell you what... if you want to agree to follow a condition tomorrow and come in tomorrow afternoon about say.. five or so, I'll let you leave Medical right now."

BeachHead raised his eyebrows. "Really? No babysitter? I can go back to my room.. not sleep in here?" He watched the doctor nod. "Sooo.. what's the condition?"

Doc smiled at him in a way that should have clued him in. "I'm sure Lifeline will fill you in, in the morning. Enjoy dinner.. but keep it light. Remember.. no exercise, not even 'just your normal nightly routine'. Got it?" Beach nodded at him on his way out. "If you'll wait, we can get you a shirt."

"I'm good.. people've seen my bare chest before.."

Doc shook his head as he watched the Ranger walk down the hallway. "I've never had a posting where folks were so eager to leave med-bay. What a bunch of stubborn hard-headed idiots."

* * * *

BeachHead shifted his shoulders inside the teeshirt. It felt good to be wearing clothing, although his belly was still sore and painful. He was able to hide the discomfort, walking fairly normally. Instead of his regular fatigue pants, he'd given in and worn sweats. The messhall was packed as he entered.

"Hey!! It's Sergeant Major Floppy!" Clutch smirked at his glare. General laughter ran around the room at his quip and BeachHead gave him the finger. "Doc finally let you off your leash?"

"Yeah yeah. Keep it up smartass.. I'll remember how energetic and spunky you are tonight when I run you into the ground tomorrow morning." Clutch mock groaned while his tablemates ribbed him. BeachHead got in line behind Dusty and TunnelRat.

Dusty held up his tray, pointing at the meatloaf. "Oh yeah.. can I have a double helping of that?" He turned to look at him. "Hey Beach, are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, loads." He stepped up and peered through the plexiglas to see what looked bland enough for him to keep down. "Potatoes and green beans." The cook looked at him. "Potatoes and green beans, please?" He was stared at. "What?"

The cook looked at Dusty then back at him. "That's it?" BeachHead nodded firmly. "Alright.." He dumped a scoop of each onto the tray. "Bread?"

"Sure." The sergeant was handed the tray and gathered up silverware. "Thanks." He took it to a empty table and left it to grab a glass of juice to have with it. Lifeline had been nice enough to warn him away from his usual milk. By the time he'd returned, his previously empty table had occupants. "Uhhh.. hey." He scooted his chair out and settled gingerly into it. While walking was fine once he limbered up, sitting down or getting up was painful.

LadyJaye smiled at him beside Dusty and TunnelRat. "Hi Beach. Good to see you up and about." He nodded politely, watching them out of the side of his eye while he ate. "You gonna be back on the PT runs tomorrow?"

He gave a half shrug, although it pained him to think he wouldn't be able to do his normal routine. "I'll be on the courses. Doc won't clear me to do much though."

TunnelRat looked up from shoveling his food in. "You paying attention to Doc? Whoa.. you really must be sick." He stopped eating and chased a piece of carrot around the plate with his fork. "Look.. I didn't mean to aggravate you so much on the course.. "

BeachHead raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?"

The short man ducked his head. "Yeah.. I mean.. I'm not gonna stop being mouthy. But I feel bad that I, you know.. made you fall over."

Sighing heavily, BeachHead fixed a serious look on the younger man. "You didn't make me 'fall over'. Had nuthin' to do with you. I'll be fine."

LadyJaye looked him over. "So what was wrong? I thought you were having a heart attack at first. It was scary." He shrugged at her. "Well, I'm glad you're okay. Your greenshirts were all lost, but they pulled themselves together pretty well."

He nodded, showing a bit of a smile. "I got reports, they seem to have kept themselves occupied in a good way. And.. no, it wasn't a heart attack. I had appendicitis." He pointed at Dusty who had just started to open his mouth. "You have something to say?"

Dusty looked nervous. "Umm.. no. No I don't have anything to say. Just eating." He put a big chunk of meatloaf into his mouth as proof. "Jus' eatin'. Nuh sayin' nuthin'."

"Good choice." Beach ate some of his potatoes, glancing up at LadyJaye who was eating her own dinner. "What? You want to make some sort of smarty-butt comment.. I can just see it."

LadyJaye shook her head. "No, no. I wouldn't dream of commenting Beach.. at least, not until AFTER my PT session tomorrow." He rolled his eyes. "I am glad it wasn't more serious. Was it close to rupturing?"

He snorted. "Past. Doc said it exploded, and told me specifically that it took him forever to fish all the nasty bits of appendix outa my belly. Like that's somehow my fault."

Dusty turned green and stopped eating. "F-f-fish... it out?"

BeachHead turned to him. "Yeah.. he had to find all the pieces.. amongst all the infection and nasty gunk and guts. Apparently when it burst, little bits went all over my innards. He had to rinse some of it out." He paused. "Are ya gonna eat that second piece of meatloaf?" Dusty swallowed hard and pushed the tray towards him. "Thanks." He speared the small piece off the tray and deposited it onto his own. "I love meatloaf."

LadyJaye raised an eyebrow. "Are you supposed to be eating meatloaf? You didn't get any in line.. and shouldn't you have bland food?"

BeachHead shrugged. "I told Doc I'd get bland food.. and I did. Not my fault that Dusty here got extra meatloaf that ended up on my plate.. right?"

LadyJaye gave him a level look. "I suppose you've been told 'no running' as well."

He nodded, finishing off the meatloaf, he poked at the green beans. "Yeah, but then.. joggin' ain't runnin', is it now?" She heaved a sigh and he gave her a wicked smile. "Doc did release me to supervise the PT tomorrow.. but then.. I gotta demonstrate stuff now and again.. don't I now?"

TunnelRat shook his head at the Ranger. "Yer gonna get yerself in'a world'a trouble, BeachHead. An' with Doc.. man... that ain't smart. Shouldn't never make yer medic mad."

BeachHead snorted. "Aww.. what's he gonna do? I'm up to date on my shots, and he just released me from the infirmary. He said something about Lifeline filling me in about some condition or other in the morning. We'll just see if that skinny medic can get up early enough to waylay me." He got up gingerly, trying to hide the pain-filled movements. "I got paperwork to deliver."

TunnelRat rose and scooped up both trays. "I got it Beach.. see you in-a morning.. take it easy.. okay?" He disappeared with the trays, and BeachHead gave a nod to LadyJaye and Dusty.

His eyes seemed amused at Dusty's queasy expression. "Ya'll get a good night's rest.. you'll need it tomorrow."

Shipwreck's voice lifted over the general hubbub, catching Beach's attention before he made it out of the room. "Hey Beach!! Should I meet you at the motorpool and carry you out to the course? Seein' as how I had to carry your sorry carcass off the course last time.. " Hoots and laughter erupted. Shipwreck collected a few backslaps and grinned around. He didn't quite notice BeachHead advancing on him.

"Well... that's a real nice offer Shipwreck." The sailor swiveled in place to face the eerily calm Ranger standing within a foot of him. "Since ya feel the need to carry heavy weights.. I'll oblige ya. In fact... I think it's such a grand idea, that everyone should carry heavy weights too, to live up ta yer shinin' example." His head tilted slightly as his evil smile appeared and widened. "Full field packs..." Groans sounded across the room. "... on the long route for the mornin' run.." Howls of anguish joined the groaning. ".. and for the obstacle course." He leaned over to let Shipwreck see the happy gleam in his eyes. "Don't be late Shipwreck.. I'm soooo looking forward to seeing all of ya tomorrow morning... if yer late.. you'll give me time to think up other things to add to yer PT. Unnerstand?"

Shipwreck cringed and nodded. "Yes, Beach.. I get it.. I get it. Sorry..." He watched an eyebrow go up. "Yes, Sergeant Major... sorry, Sergeant Major. Happy?"

"Blissful. Just blissful." BeachHead turned and stalked out, carefully hiding how stiff and sore he was. Moving down the halls, he made it to his quarters without incident. Inside, he greeted Low-Light who was just waking up.

"Hey Beach.. brought your laundry back, it's on your bunk." The sniper finished pulling on his sweater and yawned. He blinked and rubbed a hand over his short hair. "Messhall still crowded?"

The sergeant found clean sweats. "Yeah, meatloaf night." He saw his roommate perk up. "There was plenty."

"Well, that's cool. Think I'll go have some.. meatloaf breakfast, best way to start my day." Low-Light padded out quietly. Beach sighed and took his paperwork files and walked them down to the offices. The long walk stretched his stiff legs and instead of making him tired, it relaxed him. Down to the showers, he blatantly ignored the stitched wound and showered anyway.

Warm and clean, he settled into his bunk with a book. Low-Light had left behind his beanie, goggles and vest. That meant he'd be back to gear up before going on duty. Glancing at the clock told BeachHead that the sniper had another hour or so free.

Despite his conviction to just stay up until his roommate came back, BeachHead was asleep already when he returned. Low-Light moved closer and tossed a sock on Beach's head to wake him up. "Hey.. I'm out for the night.. if you're going to sleep, you should lie down. Gonna get a crick in your neck sitting up crooked like that."

BeachHead grunted at him and slipped the knife back into the sheath. "Yeah.. " He chucked the book onto the table and slid down under his covers. "Thanks.. hit the lights on your way out, would you?"

The sniper didn't answer, just grabbed up his gear and left, clicking the lights out as he closed the door. "Night Beach.. glad your better."

He grunted softly, nearly asleep already in his own familiar bed. "T'anks.."

* * * *

End Chapter

Probably only one more chapter to go. I kinda feel sorry for poor Lifeline, not only getting in between Doc and his patients, but also expected to preform impossible tasks. I think I'll be writing the early days of Lifeline soon.


	8. Chapter 8: Fini

Chap 8

Last Chapter!

Someone very kindly pointed out a mistake in the previous chapter. Navy SEALs don't have 'majors', the equivalent rank is a Lt Commander, which I totally brain-farted on when I wrote that. It being a comment made in passing.. I didn't even think about the rank differences. Sorry, my bad! Thank you to cball671 who pointed that out!

* * * *

His alarm beeped at four thirty in the morning, as always. He twisted to reach and groaned loudly. He'd managed to sleep so soundly he hadn't moved, and thus was stiff as all heck this morning. Slapping at the clock, he finally got it to stop beeping.

"Ahh gawd.." Eventually he got his feet on the floor and stood up slowly. Walking a circle inside the small quarters loosened him up. He was dressed within minutes. Moving around found that his belly was extremely tender but he slipped his sweater on over it anyway. His balaclava slipped over his head and he tucked the bottom edge under the neck of the sweater. The tactical vest settled into it's familiar place over his chest and he made sure it's left straps were properly tightened. He needed to replace the adjusters on that side.

"Somethin' else fer me to do." A minor annoyance. His holster harness went on and he checked his pistol carefully before it was dropped into place as well. He wondered if he'd manage to slip out of the Pit for a run without being caught by Lifeline. It was extremely early, but the medic was remarkably persistent when it came to making certain his patients did what they were supposed to.

He cracked open his door, and peered out up the hallway. Not only empty but still dimly lit because it was still technically nighttime in the underground facility. He smiled and opened the door up and stepped out. His security card was tucked into his pocket and he took two steps up the hallway before the slightly amused voice made him whirl.

"Good morning BeachHead. Getting up even earlier than normal?"

BeachHead stared down at the medic seated on the floor on the backside of his doorway. "What? Did you friggin' sleep outside my door? Don't you trust me?"

Lifeline got to his feet slowly, stretching and popping his back with a loud crack, confirming that he'd been there at least a while. "No, and no.. respectively. I just came over here super extra early, and no I don't trust you as far as I could throw you." He held up two laminated pages. "I brought these for you."

BeachHead narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What's that?"

Lifeline smiled smugly. "Your special condition.. or you can return to the infirmary.. turn around." He showed him the pages.

"Awww.. man.. I hate you.. I really really hate you.. and I hate Doc too, jus' sayin'."

The medic didn't seem at all bothered by his protests. "Uh-huh, so turn around."

"Gawd..."

* * * *

The Joes were assembled slightly early on the PT course, with the field packs laid out beside them. Shipwreck was getting a lot of sniping and shoving.

"Hey come on!! I didn't know he'd take it all personal! I figured I had some brownie points to use up!" The sailor was pushed aside by Clutch.

CoverGirl gave him a glare from several feet away. "Yeah, cause we all know how many times Beach gives out brownie points to people. You idiot. Had to be mouthy.. my pack weighs over half as much as I do."

Clutch smirked at her lean form. "It ain't as nicely shaped as you are though sweetheart. Besides.. Beach likes you.. he might go easier on you."

She smirked at him. "Yeah right.. he never goes easier on me, he's harder on me than the rest of you guys, and you know it."

A murmur started on one side of the group, followed by snickers of muffled amusement. CoverGirl looked over, peering around people to see a glowering BeachHead approaching.

Once he arrived, he stood in front of the group and waited out the laughter. His chest had a prominent sign reading...

{ Am I running or doing PT? Call Doc. Reward. }

...with a matching one stuck on his back. CoverGirl held back a snicker herself at Doc's creativity. The only thing that BeachHead hated worse than not exercising would be the humiliation of getting caught. She forced her expression sober and gave the drill instructor a calm nod of greeting. She might have seen a flash of gratitude in his eyes.

Finally he raised his hand for quiet and everyone settled. "Alright.. you got all yer giggles fer the mornin'. Good for you. Put yer packs on.. get 'em on!" He shifted his weight and CoverGirl saw his hand start to his side before he dropped it down again. He had to be in pain, and absolutely refusing to show even a trace of it. "Awww.. are they heavy? Good! Since you all show such grand amusement at me not being able to do anything resembling PT.. you can all do my routine for me. Awww..." He wagged his head in mock sympathy at the protests. "Poor Joes.. drop and gimme a hundred... " CoverGirl lowered herself to the ground, moaning as the weight of her field pack tried to squash her flat. "Ya'll sound like a buncha pogues.. get those elbows straight Jaye!" He moved along the rows, checking out the various soldiers, watching for people hiding injuries equally as hard as he watched for slackers. "Ace.. you been cleared for PT, but that arm ain't supporting you.. stop and step out." The pilot got to his feet and walked to the side. "Shipwreck, get yer butt in gear, you ain't foolin' no one."

The sailor puffed hard as he continued his push-ups. "Awww.. gimme a break Sergeant Major, I got a hangnail!"

BeachHead put a foot on his pack and powered him into the ground once. "Did you say something there, sailor boy?"

"Ugh.. no sergeant major..." Shipwreck's lips were sealed for the rest of the exercise, and Beach moved off to berate Jinx for being practically hidden underneath her pack.

She grunted as she did each push-up, being the smallest Joe of all of them. She was still tougher than most, thanks to the ninja training. She knew better than to complain too, as not only would BeachHead pile something extra on her PT, but SnakeEyes invariably overheard her and would add to her ninja training as well.

Once they were finished, he pointed to the fenceline. "Get it in gear boys and girls.. you can run the fenceline this morning. Ace, ain't nothin' wrong with yer legs.. get moving."

Shipwreck tried to heft his pack a bit higher on his back and Beach walked over and jerked it up into place, tightening the errant strap for him. "Thanks Beach.. you coming along too?" His sly smile made Beach give a boot to his rear, shoving him along towards the groaning pack.

"Shut up you.. keep pushing my buttons, I'll see if you can manage to run it twice.. " He watched them take off running at a moderate pace, twitching with a need to follow along. He hadn't run in days, and it made him itch inside. He'd briefly considered taking a jeep out to follow them, but this wasn't a group of errant greenshirts, it was the experienced Joes, and he knew full well they'd run if he told them to run. Besides, he also knew exactly how long it should take to make it back. Too long and he'd know they'd been slacking.

While he awaited their return, he set up his paperwork, settling into a chair and making sure to look casual as the first front runners arrived back. "Good time.." He watched Ace, SnakeEyes and surprisingly Ripcord and Flint. "Nice to see you extending yourselves." He noted the times on a sheet for his own records. SnakeEyes.. Jinx making it?" The commando gave him a curt nod, not even breathing hard after the long run laden with a full field pack. BeachHead had long since given up trying to push the ninja to his limits. The man just didn't seem to have limits like normal people.

BeachHead got up and watched the rest straggle in. "Alright.. do I gotta count heads here? Get it together.. LadyJaye.. did you walk the whole danged way? CoverGirl.. yer over eight minutes late.. you got long enough legs to make that trip in waay less time." He stalked among them, once again covertly checking for any weakness or injuries.

He stopped at Jinx staring down at her slight form. "You're struggling to carry that pack."

She nodded slightly. "Yes Sergeant major.. it's as heavy as I am. I need to do more training for carrying weight."

He nodded. "We'll get you up to speed. You're just too danged small to make it easy." She glared but refused to rise to his bait. He twisted around and winced as it pulled on the stitches. "Form up in fours.. first group out!" He marked the time and started to trot over to the end of his obstacle course and heard a loud chorus of hooting erupt. "I ain't runnin' so shut yer yaps!"

Ace grinned at him. "I'd call that a run.. it wasn't a walk!" Several others agreed loudly and BeachHead clenched his jaw. "It was a run!! Definitely a run!"

"I wasn't running! That was.. a really.. uh.. a really fast walk.. " His protest went unheard. "Dang it.. stupid danged medics." He decided to ignore it and made his way over at a walk to keep to the restrictions. "Alright.. " He barely made it to the end ahead of the Joes on the course. "Decent times.. Ripcord.. what did you do to yer arm? Ain't you learned to bellycrawl under razor wire yet?" He walked over to take the man's arm in hand and looked it over. "Go have it checked at the infirmary.. give them danged medics something to fuss over other than me." Ripcord nodded and trotted off towards the Pit without any protests over being sent off.

BeachHead lifted his voice up and bellowed across to the start line. "NEXT FOUR!!! GO!!" He saw them startle and then take off. He clicked the time and flipped a page back to check the last times he'd clocked on this particular course. Watching the group, he noted who had issues with which obstacles. "JAYE!! If you can't climb that wall, we'll arrange for extra training time to teach you how it's done!" He saw her gritting her teeth and struggling and made a note on his board next to her name. She was one of the shorter, slighter-built women, and as such, she had some problems with certain obstacles. Rather than accepting that she couldn't quite make it as fast or as well as the rest of the team, he singled her out and helped figure out what method she could use to keep up. At this point, he'd decided to pair her up with Jinx, who was even smaller than her, but never had issues climbing anything, no matter how tall or how vertical.

The currant group was nearing the finish and he bellowed over again for the next group to start, clocking the Joes in as they crossed the line. "Jaye.. see me after training." She was ribbed by a few of the others and he glared them silent. It only took a look or two to settle most of the team down.

The Intel operative stalked over and glared up at him. "What? I made it! Why are you picking on me?!" He looked at her with an annoyed expression. "No way! You're making some big deal out of the fact that I can't do it as fast as everyone else!"

He suddenly swung around on her, making her back up. "Yeah, I am! Do you want to delay the whole danged team on a mission so they can cover your butt while you bounce around trying to jump a wall? Maybe you don't mind putting folks at risk instead of putting in some extra time training! Well I DO!! If you can't keep up, if you can't do the work, you ain't gonna go on missions and risk everyone else!" She clamped her mouth shut. "Don't get all sulky on me, girly! You chose to join this elite group, and you'll pass muster here in physical training or you ain't gonna pass at all!"

Flint stalked over and Beach turned to him. "That's enough BeachHead! Leave her alone!"

The sergeant narrowed his eyes. "I ain't leaving NO one alone, not out here on MY training courses! Not Jaye, not you, not NO ONE! You wanna make some points for your ladyfriend, you go do it during your off time! Not here!"

Flint turned redfaced. "Everyone knows you hate having women on the team! Maybe you should let someone else train the women and leave them alone since you insist on holding them up to such high standards!"

Beach stepped up to his face. "I don't care who's on this danged team! If they can't hack it, they don't belong here! HIGH standards?? So what? You think they can't do the same work, just cause they female?! Is that what you think?!" His shouts carried to the rest of the Joes, including the group that had just crossed the finishline unnoticed.

The warrant officer was just as oblivious to the onlookers as the drill instructor. "YEAH! Yeah!! I think they need lower standards!! They can't ALL keep up with us! They're smaller and.. " He suddenly heard himself and clamped his jaw shut.

Beach looked smug. "Well.. it's nice to know you think our Laaaady Joes can't hack it. JINX!! Front and center!" The tiny ninja stalked up looking furious. "Since you can't hack it against the guys.. you can go show off exactly how weak you are.. against Flint here." Flint opened his mouth to argue. "What's wrong Flint? Don't you wanna show off how much stronger, faster, and better you are? Cause I know just how useful yer dick is in climbing and jumping. We ALLLLL wanna see how you use yer balls to run faster than the chickies here."

Flint was nearly ready to explode now. "I never said they can't hack it!" BeachHead glared at him. "That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Oh? Now I'm psychic! I'm supposed to know what yer thinkin' in addition to not listening to what you actually SAY!" He stepped up close to the warrant officer now, lowering his voice to between the two of them. "Back the heck off, Flint. You put yer foot in yer mouth, so take it like a man and shut up. Your attempts to get into Jaye's pants need to happen in friggin' private, not out here on my course!"

Flint exploded, swinging at the sergeant and landing a punch on his face before he could duck. Beach grabbed his arm on the next swing and tossed him aside hard, gritting his teeth against the pain in his side. "Stand down, Flint!" He shoved him aside again as he barreled in. "FLINT!! Stand down!!" His bellow finally cut through. The paratrooper got to his feet and took a deep breath.

He wiped sand off the side of his face. "Sorry. Just... blast it..." He turned and walked away, walking himself down to the fenceline and back to cool off.

BeachHead turned on the rest of the group. "Get back to it! If you ain't gone through the course, you don't belong over here! Get back in place! Ain't nothin' to see over here! NEXT FOUR!! GO!" He watched the Joes mill a little bit but settle to muttering among themselves a little. "Shut it down! You got breath to chatter, you got breath to run laps! Ace! Clutch.. gimme three laps!" The ringleaders of the talk sent off on punishment laps, the rest stopped and got back in line.

Flint walked back up after a few minutes. He stood next to the drill instructor who ignored him, watching the four Joes rushing the mudpit instead. Finally the warrant officer spoke to him quietly. "Sorry.. lost my temper."

Beach didn't look at him any more than Flint looked at him. "Sorry.. goaded ya into it." He watched as Shipwreck fell into the mud as always. "You gotta keep yer dick in yer pants, Flint. I don't care how protective you are off-duty. You ain't protecting Jaye on a mission, and she ain't gonna be thanking you for thinking she needs it. Get yer danged head straight."

Flint clenched his jaw but nodded. "Crude way to put it. I'll work on it." He paused and then looked over at the imperturbable Ranger. "How do you do it? How do you not give a crap whether she's struggling to make it?"

BeachHead finally looked at him. "I do care. But I know she can make it, on her own. She just has to work harder to get there, and she has to figure out how to make it happen with her own limitations. Extra training will get her there. Holding her hand and patting her on the head won't."

Flint took a deep breath. "Yeah, I know." He glanced at him. "Sorry I punched you in the face. Are you okay?"

Beach sniffed derisively. "I think ya broke my danged nose again." Flint looked at his face as he turned his head towards him. He could see a dark stain on the cloth covering his nose.

"Ahh.. sorry.." He felt bad now. "I didn't mean to break your nose."

Beach shrugged at him, reaching up to finger the bridge of his nose. "Yeah you did, that's why you punched me there. You always punch right for a guy's nose. It's alright.. I got tired of it bein' crooked to the left anyway. Having it twisted to the right'll be a change." He snorted lightly through his nose. "Besides.. now I just gotta get Hawk to break it, I'll have the whole danged set of commanders. Duke already broke it once, and this is the second time you've done it." He turned back to the obstacle course. "Makes a guy feel downright unwanted at times."

Flint shook his head. "Beach.. you're downright scary at times. You should go get that fixed. Your facemask is getting soaked with blood."

That got the instructor to grunt and reach to pinch his nostrils shut through the mask for a couple minutes. "It's fine." He suddenly pulled hard on his nose and Flint winced at the crunch of the bones realigning. "Gawd.. " The Ranger suddenly bellowed across the course. "CoverGirl!! JUMP! Jump dang you!" He watched the tank jockey leap up onto the wall and grab the rope to clamber over. "She can do better."

Flint watched. "She does pretty well, looks like she out-does a lot of the guys."

BeachHead grunted dismissively. "She danged well better, she's taller than half of 'em. Pushing on wrenches don't build a lotta muscle though. She needs to work harder."

Flint sighed heavily. "You think everyone should work harder."

"Everyone should. Go get back in line. Don't stay back afterwards with Jaye neither. She don't need you to watch her working extra time."

Flint looked at him frankly. "We okay? I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Beach turned to look at him. "I'm fine. Ain't the first time we've gotten into it. Won't be the last, I'm sure. Next time I'll try to get the first lick in."

Flint snorted. "You never throw the first punch.. you really suck that way. You get under my skin worse than anyone else, and you NEVER throw the first blasted punch, so I'm always the wrong one."

BeachHead grinned under the balaclava. "Irritating ain't I?" Flint grumbled and turned away.

Beach stepped up as the group crossed the finishline. "That SUCKED! I oughta put the whole lot of you through it again! Go gimme five laps! While yer runnin, start thinking of how you need to be working HARD out here! Slackers!" CoverGirl tried to lift her backpack up into a better position and BeachHead stalked over. "Gimme that." He jerked her around and yanked the waistband looser and then lifted and wrenched the shoulder straps tighter. Pulling the belt tight again, he grabbed the pack on one hand and shook it hard, yanking her back and forth to check that it was snug. "There.. if you don't adjust the straps right the whole pack is gonna make you off-balance. Next time you let me check the straps first."

She nodded, looking a little disoriented. "Yeah.. dang Beach.. I'm not a dogtoy.. don't shake me like that."

He gave her a push. "Get out there.. go on. You wanna make it ten laps instead of five? GIT!" She took off running, sprinting to catch up to the rest doing their punishment. "Danged Cinderella.." He forbid himself to reach for his side. It hurt and he wondered if he'd pulled a stitch out when he'd tossed Flint aside. His face hurt a lot too, and he grimaced thinking of the lecture he'd get when he went in to the infirmary at five.

It wasn't long before the last Joes had gone through the course, and everyone with laps was done. He pointed at Jaye. "You stay behind. Jinx.. JINX!" The slender ninja looked at him. "Stay behind. TunnelRat! Stay behind. The rest of you are dismissed." He took the sheets on his clipboard and shuffled them to bring the one to the top he needed. Without looking up to see, he spoke loudly. "Anyone else who wants to stay behind can run laps, since they got nothin' better to do." He listened to the feet shuffle and leave. He was left with the three smallest Joes.

"Alright. Jaye, you gotta start doing better on these courses. Jinx and TunnelRat do fine on them, heck, Jinx does better than most of us. So they're gonna help you." He saw Jaye lean back and stretch her back trying to ease the cramped muscles. "Drop the packs, you're gonna have to learn what to do before you can do it with a field back strapped on you." He started to walk towards one of the vertical walls and Jaye suddenly gasped.

She trotted after him and pulled his arm to make him stop. "Beach! You have blood on your side.."

He tugged himself free and looked down. "Aww great. More yellin' by Doc. It's fine, I probably just pulled stitches.. go on." She started to speak and he pointed. "Go on, get over there. Jinx.. I want you to show her how you run up the side.. and if she can't do that, TunnelRat can show her his methods." He ignored the seeping feeling on his side.

Jaye shook her head at him. "You're too stubborn for your own good!" He pointed and she shook her head at him. "You have blood all over your mask, and all over your side."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Look girly! I got blood on my danged face from yer boyfriend breaking my danged nose again! So I suggest that you get started on this, and stop trying to point out what's going on with me!"

Jinx suddenly crossed her arms, standing in front of him. Jaye stood next to her. "No. You go get that looked at, and we'll work here. Otherwise, we aren't doing anything."

He growled at her and Jinx shook her head. "Danged buncha stubborn women.." He turned on TunnelRat. "You just shut it!"

TunnelRat held up his hands. "I didn't say nuthin! Don't be taking it out on me! You can go ahead and bleed fer all I care!"

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm gonna go see Doc.. but I'll be back." They all nodded and turned to head for the wall on the course. "You better have something to show me when I get back!"

He grumbled to himself, finally giving in to put a hand over his side. He was startled at how the sweater material squished under his fingers. It was soaked through and he hoped he hadn't pulled more than one or two stitches. "Dang stupid Flint.." Striding down through the motorpool, he ignored Clutch's shouted greeting. CoverGirl wasn't so easily put off and came trotting across to walk beside him smiling.

She nudged at his arm as if to get his attention as he hit the switch for the hydraulic lift to take the panel down. "Hey Beach.. that didn't take long.. is that blood on your mask?" He grunted at her, glowering darkly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Princess. Flint broke my nose, and I pulled a stitch on my side. Happy? Now you know what's going on."

She frowned at him and reached to tug at his facemask. "Flint broke your nose?! You wait until I get a hold of him!" He pushed her hand away irritably. "No way! That jerk.."

He caught her wrist when she tried to reach for his mask again. "Cut it out! I don't need you rushin' off to defend me neither. So you just keep your tongue still, and don't let me hear about you talkin' to Flint 'bout nuthin'." She glared at him. "Stop it. I appreciate that you care. I'm fine. It's the second time he's broken my nose.. and heck it's been broken enough times to not make no big deals over it anyway." He turned her loose and turned aside. "I can't get no uglier, and at least it'll be crooked in another direction a while."

She sighed at him. "You're not ugly at all. And I don't care how many times it's been broken, Flint had no call to hit you."

The lift stopped on the lower levels and he stalked off. "Leave it alone, CoverGirl. Personalities clash, it happens. It's no big deal." She grumbled under her breath. "I said.. leave it."

She suddenly glared at him. "What makes you think you can tell me what to do?" He stopped and looked at her. "Yeah yeah.. sergeant MAJOR and all that junk. That doesn't mean a blasted thing this time. Don't tell me I can't be upset when someone is being a jerk to you. And don't think that I don't know that you didn't hit Flint back because he's a higher rank than you too. Yeah.. think I don't know these things.. I'm in the blasted Army too you know." She stood there looking stubborn at him, daring him to say anything.

He finally showed a hint of a smile. "You know, you're really gorgeous when you get all angry." She looked shocked. "Your cheeks get all red and you huff all up, and your eyes get crinkley.. just so darned cute." He reached out and patted her shoulder twice. "I gotta go.. stay outa trouble, 'kay?" He walked away without waiting for a reply. She stood in the hall for several minutes before she turned to head back up to the motorpool.

Her snarling under her breath made people get out of her way. "Stupid sergeant majors.. dumb rocks.. stubborn MEN!"

* * * *

"BEACHHEAD! How can you pull out ALL the stitches?? What were you doing? Did you TRY to rip them out?!" Doc was irate and then threw his hands up when the sergeant major peeled off the balaclava and he spotted the broken nose. "What did you DO?!?"

BeachHead frowned. "I didn't try, I didn't run, and I didn't do any PT. Wasn't my fault."

Doc shook his head and probed at the open gash. "First I have to stitch up Ripcord.. now I have to restitch you. And a broken nose! How anyone can get into as much trouble in such a short time.. I KNEW I should have sent Lifeline with you."

"Ow.. just stitch it back together. And I already pretty much straightened my nose out." He felt it. "I hope I don't get black eyes again."

The doctor just growled, walking out briefly to return with a suture kit. "I'm gonna stitch this ONE more time. You tear out even ONE stitch, and I'm going to glue it, and then I'm going to order bed rest until it heals. And if you try to escape, I'll put you in four-point restraints for the entire time. I'm sick of you wrecking your body and thinking I'll just fix it again and again." He gave the Ranger a hard shove. "Lie back. And if you think you're getting anesthetic, you're a nutcase."

Beach winced and protested. "It's not my fault.. ow, ow.. Flint's the one what hit me! And I had to give him a toss or he'd have tackled me.. wasn't my fault!!"

Doc cursed a great deal, but drew up anesthetic in a needle. "I'm only numbing this because it's the humane thing to do, not because I think you don't deserve some pain for being stupid."

"Uh-huh!" Beach held still, gritting his teeth as the needle stabbed into him a few times. "It's good.. thanks.."

He was growled at again. "Don't you thank me. Just lie there. Don't even talk to me." He began to stitch, tying neat knots in a row. "Go and tear out all my work, come in here bleating about how's it's not your fault, think you're so clever, getting around all the restrictions, wanting to rush right out and get some new injury or wound, sending me paratroopers with cut up arms, getting your nose broken, but hey.. you 'set it myself', so I don't need to worry over it.. I shouldn't give you a danged thing for pain.. I oughta salt the wound. That's what I should do.. salt it and pour some alcohol over it.. maybe then you'd pay attention when I say not to over-do it."

Beach clamped his lips shut and tried not to wince. When Lifeline arrived, Doc began to lambast him as well. "I told you that you should have just shadowed him! No, you said you had an idea.. well, see how well that worked?"

The medic looked over the doctor's shoulder. "Umm.. did he pull some of the stitches?"

"Some? No! Try ALL of the exterior stitches.. ALL of them! And he was bleeding all over. If I hadn't been overly concerned enough to put in all those internal stitches, he'd have had his intestines hanging out, and probably would have stuffed them back in and put duct tape over the hole!" Doctor tossed aside the suture. "There. Now you're sewn back together." He picked up his instrument tray and chucked it over onto the counter out of the way. "Sit up."

BeachHead gingerly levered himself to a sitting position, keeping his eyes low. "I'm sorry I pulled them out.. but it wasn't.."

Doc snapped at him. "Shut up. I do NOT want to hear an excuse. I can guarantee that if you'd been sitting behind your desk, it wouldn't have happened. But do you listen? Nooo, you have to go out and supervise the PT. Show me your face." He grasped the hapless man by the jaw and tilted his face up to the light. "Your nose is broken.. again." He pinched it carefully a few times. "Looks like you straightened it pretty well. It's gonna be crooked to the right now." He pressed his fingers in, ignoring the jerk of pain. "There.." He taped over the bridge of the slightly swollen nose. "Don't get hit in the face.. and sleep face up. Breathe through your nose." Beach obliged him, listening to the slight whistle. "It's fine. Where else did you get hit?"

"No where." Beach cut his eyes at Lifeline who had jumped at the comment.

"You got hit? Who hit you?" The medic seemed outraged on his behalf.

"Don't matter.. it's over and done with." BeachHead looked at Doc. "Am I done?"

Doc glowered at him and leaned so his face was inches away. "Yes. And if you pull another stitch out.. what happens?"

"You'll tie me to a bed until the end of time."

"Right. So what are you going to do?"

"Be really really careful, and not over-do it, and not do anything to make you mad at me."

"You got that right. Stubborn Ranger. You can go." Doc stepped aside and let him escape the room. He ducked back in and grabbed up his bloodstained sweater and head covering.

"Sorry.. forgot my.. yeah.. bye.. thanks.. and .. uh.. thanks." Beach dodged back out. Doc watched him walking quickly down the hallway towards the quarters.

He turned to Lifeline. "Well.. that went well. You'll have to find some other way to keep him in line. Clean this mess up, I'm going to lunch."

Lifeline nodded and then sighed as he picked up the tray and discarded bloody gauze. "Yes... because I have such control over what he does. We'll be lucky if he doesn't manage to put out one of his eyes."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Well.. that about wraps up this fic.. Beach is mostly fixed up again. He's also managed to do his typical one step forward- three steps back with CoverGirl. Flint probably isn't gonna get laid until LadyJaye finishes being mad at him, and he might end up with a black eye from CoverGirl as well. (You can probably tell, I'm not a huge fan of Flint.. )

I'm glad to have shared this with you guys, and hope it was enjoyed. I'll find something else to write about!


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